Reevaluating and making plans...

The news has settled (yet again) and we are making some plans (yet again). We'll wait for one more round of scheduling (yet again) before I buy a ticket to go for a visit. I still have a little hope, but need to make plans for the future.

At this point I'm thinking about 6 weeks in Ghana, this will encompass Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. The reason for this is two fold. Of those 6 weeks, three of them would be off of work anyway (assuming of course, that I still have my job and maybe go back to full time) so logistically, it's the best for several schedules. Also, because holidays with the whole happy, coupled up, lovey-dovey family can be pretty painful. And not to be a total jacka**, but a reminder that God still hasn't come through for me in this area. So I'm skipping it all! I won't have any sweater weather, or decorations and no happy couples all over each other. I certainly won't eat any turkey or ham, and there most definitely will NOT be a 9' tall, fresh-cut Christmas tree in Ghana! It will be different, it will be amazing. It will be a Christmas more about Christ and less about stuff. Nice, huh?

Here comes the problem...

I L-O-V-E Christmas and the way we celebrate it! I love that my family tries their hardest to come from near and far to be together. I love that we do silly things and eat too much. I love the challenge of finding the perfect gift for 12 family members (yes 12, that's only immediate family)! I love the games we play and the laughter we share! I love doing advent as a family and finding ways to continue traditions even though we are all adults. I love finding the perfect tree and decorating together! I love Christmas Eve at my brother and sister in-law's house. I love the fellowship. I love that you could drive by my parents' house and literally see love coming out of their home. It is THE holiday for us and we do it up BIG! And I'm gonna miss it.

What I truly want is for George to be a part of it all. It's not about the stuff and I can't drag what I love about Christmas to Ghana...well, maybe, but it would cost around $30,000. I don't even know that it's all about Christmas-it's about one more significant thing going by and us not being together for it. My desire to be with George is greater than my desire for a Brown family Christmas...it doesn't mean I won't miss it though and it doesn't mean I won't be missed.

It may seem silly, but would you mind praying specifically that George could get an interview and be a part of this with us? It means more to me than I realized. I still believe that God cares about the little things. I don't know why he hasn't answered what to me, is a huge thing, but I still believe. I'm still praying and still hoping. I would really appreciate you praying with me.

That's it, the extent of reevaluating. I don't think anything was actually figured out, except that there will be real face time, soon! Wooohoooo!!!! This plan only goes to the first few days of January...after that, who knows? I'm trying to be okay with that. I'm really, really trying to be okay with that!