Spiritual junk food.

I started this blog as an outlet for my frustration and to document our story and tell about us without actually telling it over and over again. It's often turned into something else though...a vent, a discovery, a funny thing. And so it is...get ready...I couldn't sleep last night and these things kept going through my mind.

Yesterday the pastor said something that I can't stop thinking about. It was something to the effect of: we are so full on spiritual junk food, we don't have room for the real thing. So that made me think, what is spiritual junk food and where are we getting it? The first question is a little harder because I think the junk food is mixed with truth and we don't recognize it. Like peanut M&M's-it's chocolate and protein! The second question is an easy one for me, I get all my junk food from the church. I don't like Christian bookstores and don't read the "it" book, so mine comes from the church at large.

I've been searching a lot recently, I've discovered God is not quite who I thought He was. In fact, I'm not really sure who He is. I'm okay with that. This junk food analogy really hit home because I've been trying to weed out things I thought were true, but really aren't. Here is some of the junk food I've been fed in my church life...

"The Experience" This one is classic. The idea is to have an "experience" with God...it especially applies to corporate worship. Basically, dim the lights, sap up the music and get all weepy. Why? Because that's how God hears His people, that's how He and everyone else knows you are genuine. Here's the problem, relationship, which is what Christianity is, is not an experience. A hot air balloon ride is an experience. We don't "experience" it up with other relationships, and hello? we can't manipulate God. For a little while, I thought I could...all it takes are the right songs, the right feeeeling and the perfect amount of tears. WRONG!

Christ died for ME! You may be shocked that I wrote this. I don't by an means me Christ didn't die for us. What I mean is this line that I(!) Bethany Rene Brown am so singularly important to God that Jesus died for ME, He thought of me above all else and would have taken the cross even if I was the only sinner! He was thinking of ME and MY face on that blessed day on the cross! I really don't know where people get this. I know God cares for us because scripture supports that (and yes, I am greater than a sparrow). But the thought that I and I alone am worth the death of Christ is a stretch and elevates who we are as God's created.

"Quiet Time" This term makes me want to vomit. Here's the formula...wake up dreadfully early in the morning (God hears you best at 6am) read your bible and ask for what you want for at least 15 minutes. Then for the rest of the day hint and guilt out everyone you know by telling them about your QT. That's how you get God to listen to you and give you what you want. WRONG again! I love reading the Bible (I haven't always, but I do right now). We should know the Word and are supposed to pray without ceasing. However, this formula to the heart of God in the form of a good ol' QT is totally man made. Again, you can't manipulate God into doing what you want and he sees through sucky motives.

"Piper said..." Gag!!! It doesn't have to be Piper, that's just the one I hear the most...I also hear pastor/Mahaney/various other people. Americans have been sucked into this terrible trust of any "man of God"-I know people who quote Piper more than they quote the Bible! They love these "men of God" they nearly worship them! This is definitely junk food. People can say good things, but when you start to trust this stranger and take their word as the truth, that is a very slippery slope. Also, I'm just NOT a Piper fan...he came to my church one time and the number of people who came far and wide to see him was completely sickening. He's a freaking human being! They held on to every word he said and took it like the gospel. I can't remember any of it.

God is cute. This one is way bigger than the Piper problem. God is not cute. Puppies are cute. The best example for this is children (and adults) being taught that the story of Noah is about animals and pretty colors. How about, the wrath of God?! He DESTROYED the earth and all those people! Don't get me started, don't even get me started...

You may think I am a cynical jerk. Maybe I am. Those are just a few examples of what I see as spiritual junk food...things that slowly draw us away from the truth of God and towards the sayings of men. I don't think the people who have said these things are always meaning to do so, but regardless, it happens.

I'm just not satisfied anymore. I no longer want to be comfortably numb, sitting in a rich (and in debt) American church, being fed who we want God to be. I don't want to sit bored out of my mind listening to a pastor string together polysyllabic words that make him seem great, but don't show the heart of God. I want more. I want to know people who want more. I want it to be okay to question life as we know it. I want to be the church, not "those church people"...there's a huge difference.

One of the first verses I remember truly memorizing (not Awana memorizing where you do it for the prize, I mean at home memorizing-forever) is 'Be on guard, stand firm in the faith, be men of courage; be strong.' It's time for me to throw away the junk food and do just that.