Now that I'm fired, I have more time to blog.

I'm a thinker. I mull over things a lot and just think about things. Things I have observed, people I know, hopes for the future.. Whatever, but I'm always thinking. Now that I don't have a job, I have a little more time to post about what I'm thinking. Here is some of what circles around in my mind.

One thing I have never liked about the Christians I see a lot (and have known) is the whole yuppy thing. Their lives have been completely self created and God fits in a box on Sunday mornings. I have NEVER wanted a life like that! Lucky me, I got what I wanted...on my knees DAILY because only God can help us now! In all seriousness though, that's how I want it to be. People may think we are crazy for just "trusting in Him" and having a baby while in the midst of job issues and not really knowing where we'll live when baby comes, blah, blah, blah, but I don't want a self-created life...it's why I have a relationship with the Creator. I have every confidence that we're going to be okay and our God is going to take care of us.

There's a difference between suffering and going through hard things and b*tching and moaning about EVERYTHING "...for the sake of the cross." I used to know someone who whined about absolutely EVERYTHING-I'm not even exaggerating and she would always add the tag line that whatever she was going through was "...suuuuuch a sanctification process." Seriously. Cleaning her huge, gorgeous house was a sanctification process, taking care of her children was a sanctification process, getting the oil changed on her new car was a sanctification process. You get the point. I really don't want to be that person (but of course, we all have our days!). It got me to thinking; if everything in your life-including the amazing blessings is something to complain about, what does that say about how great you are and sucky God must be doing at His job? Furthermore, when things are truly hard, why can't we just say so? I always left conversations with this woman feeling kinda slimed and down and it really damaged the whole Christian witness thing. I DO NOT want to be like that! Sometimes, I catch myself mid-conversation and have to back track like crazy!

Also, let me just say how extremely blessed and overjoyed I am that God answered my prayers and removed me from that awful, awful job! I am just in awe and am so grateful everyday. I am happy, I feel like Cocoapuff and I are healthier and I'm full of faith. I will admit that I thought the answer to our prayers would be more along the lines of G getting a job and me resigning, but I'll take this too! God answered us and He is moving! As for how insurance is going to work out, that's just a detail and I know God's got it covered.

Nice try, still not shaken...

I'm still processing what happened yesterday, but I wanted to share and ask for more prayers!! We see God moving in BIG ways and we're asking Him for more!!!

So here's the deal. I had a meeting with my boss yesterday. I was asked to sign a document that was highly subjective and would make it where I was written up for just about everything. When I say just about everything, that includes having to asking a manager (who may or may not be found since they leave for hours on end) permission to use the employee bathroom. If I left the sales floor to go to the employee bathroom without permission, that would be a write up. I was also to promise to "be more productive" which could mean anything, literally anything. In addition, even after telling them that I'm pregnant, I was informed I'd be written up for using anymore of MY sick time (sick time which has no rules, btw). I saw this document as discriminatory and as trap to write me up tons of times and then fire me with a paper trail. I wouldn't sign it. So he fired me.

You might think this, combined with the job rejection for G on Monday could send us spiraling in to the depths of despair. Nope. Our God is BIG! He is doing BIG things. We don't know what the next few weeks and months will hold, what we do know is that God is watching, listening and loving us through all of it. Our friends and family have really rallied around us and are constantly supporting us. My dad told me this week that "Family was designed to help us see God when circumstances make it hard otherwise. Loved ones, by the Spirit's prompting, become the fingerprints of the hard to see God." I agree! Here are some of those fingerprints they have shared with us...

Matthew 6:34, Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

John 16:33, "In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. - Isaiah 40:28

‎1 Corinthians 13:12 tells us that now we see things dimly, as in a mirror, but someday we will see clearly and understand how God answered our prayers.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight* Proverbs 3:5-6

Psalm 66 19 but God has surely listened and has heard my prayer. 20 Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!

Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm. Psalm 20:7-8

He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. Isaiah 40:11

We've been reminded of Joseph and how even his slavery had a GREAT purpose. We've been reminded of Moses and his arms being supported by his friends so that the battle would be won.

We may have just lost an income, but we are RICH! Thank you to everyone who is loving and praying and supporting us through this-keep it up! We believe our God is great, we believe He has a plan for us!

Please pray specifically for wisdom and clear direction over the next few weeks. We have a lot to sort through and some big decisions to make. And of course, we keep praying for THE JOB for George. :)

Walking by faith...

We are SO THRILLED to be having a baby and are really excited to see where God continues to take us. It’s been such a faith walk already! I think faith stories are really important, important for those around us and important to share with the generations to come. For me, I love to hear other people’s faith story because it reminds me and encourages me that God is still moving and doing BIG things!!

God is certainly doing big things for us! There have definitely been some tough spots for us, but God has still been there all along. Today is a tough spot, so while reminding myself how far we have come, I want to share with others.

George and I have wanted children all along and we hoped and prayed that that would be in God’s plan for us. Somewhere along the way though, our mentality changed and it wasn’t about God’s plan for us anymore…it was about money and career jobs and what made sense (and maybe, even a little about what people would think of us). We found ourselves yearning for children, but saying “We can’t have kids, not until G has a career job.” We had completely put our faith and hope for a family on a job! God wasn’t a part of it all. God started working on our hearts and convicting us that He was the giver of children…and jobs…and provision.

We both knew what God was saying to us and took the huge leap of faith and obedience to truly trust in Him for our family and provision. It was exciting and a little scary all at once, but we were full of peace and completely on the same page that this is how God was leading us. I knew that if God had a baby for us, that He would provide for us too (I still believe that, but need reminded every now and then).

Though I had faith, I still felt a little jaded about other things in our life. Somewhere inside of me, I though God would tease us and that we would wait FOREVER for a baby…I was assuming at least 18 months. When it didn’t take that long, we were SHOCKED and SO, SO EXCITED!!! We loved this baby instantly and were thrilled to see how God would show up. I decided I would stay at [Stupid Baby Company] until Cocoapuff came since that’s where we had our insurance. It made things better…until my boss called me in and basically said I’d be fired (which he later back pedaled on, but didn’t tell me). That made things worse. It changed the work environment even more and added a lot of stress. Each day was and has been sooooooo hard and I just want to stay home (or run away crying, but that may have more to do with this whole raging hormones thing)! I don’t feel like it would be right to take another full-time in demand job knowing I will quit in just a few months. That just seems wrong to the company spending the time and money to hire and train someone and wrong to the possibly long term employee I’d be beating out of the position. Oh, and it's not like good full time jobs with benefits are exactly easy to find! I feel very stuck and some days God feels oh so far away!

George continues searching for jobs faithfully and working 2 retail jobs, 6 days a week. We had SO MUCH hope when he had a second interview...we could see our future stretched before us and it was goooooood! Today, George heard that he did not get that job.

As faith walks tend to be, there are ups and downs. Some days are super hard and there isn’t much faith to go around. Today was one of those days.

But things changed. Our loving family and friends have rallied around us and supported us with prayer, scripture and encouragement. I am so glad we don't walk this path alone!!

We KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that God does have a plan for us-we also know that may mean even more painful waiting, and that part sucks!! The other thing we KNOW is that our sweet little Cocoapuff fits perfectly in God's timing. God has placed him/her in our family right now and in this world for a time and purpose. Not once have we second guessed or worried about adding a baby to the mix. Not once have we been sad or anxious about our Cocoapuff. The job part, now that's another story!

So the faith walk continues. God will show up. God is showing up...I just want the job part to be here now! Until then, we keep praying, hoping and walking by faith...we are a work in progress and so is our story.

If you have more encouragement and scripture to pour out on us, feel free!

Cool Stuff...

One of the up sides to working at a baby store is that I learn a LOT about baby stuff...and I get a discount. :) Combine that with being a nanny for four years and I most definitely have strong opinions, likes and dislikes about baby stuff. We started watching and waiting for God's provision as soon as we learned about our Cocoapuff and while it didn't immediately show up in the form of a job (we know that comes soon!) provision certainly came by way of baby gear! Here are a few of my fav baby items we have so far... The Nook Pebble Mattress. I learned about this mattress earlier this year and immediately fell in love! A lot of research, cool technology and great materials go into this mattress! Everything is natural-no chemicals or other questionable things. The raised pebble pattern of the cover helps air flow and is actually pumped with oxygen when it is woven, you can breathe through it better than a medical mask! It's amazing! You can learn more about it here. We went with the Pebble Lite for one huge reason...it costs less with pretty much all the same benefits! The Bato Bathtub-it's just so dang cute! This was not a true need, but a want. I just don't want our home to be full of kid crap, I want the items we have to be beautiful. To me, this is THE COOLEST baby/toddler tub out there (well, in the less than $200 range;).

We might start using this a year from NOW, but this was another item that I just got hooked on! It's the HiLo highchair by Age designs. It's on a serious back order and our store had one...so I seized the opportunity. And of course, mine is orange! I love that it has a small silhouette, that it's super easy to clean, that it can be used beyond the baby years and it just looks good.

And the car seat. I was trying to be open to whatever car seat we could afford, but I am a HUGE Britax fan! If you don't know anything about Britax, they are amazing, highly engineered seats, but they are also pricey. I was iffy about the print, but the deal we got made it worth it...now I've come to like the silly cow print. :)

Our apartment is not very big, so there is baby stuff everywhere (this is only a tiny glimpse of it). On hard days it helps me to see it all. These things are small. I don't need designer baby items-at all. But God has provided them for us. He has been so faithful with the little things (little things that really matter to me, but little nonetheless) of course he'll be faithful with the big things too!

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:25-33

Praying for change...

Remember that job fair G went to that I mentioned a couple of posts back? Well, he got called back for a second interview (which he says went well) and we were told we'd hear this week. We didn't hear anything this week. That means while we didn't get the "yes" we so desperately want, we also didn't get a "no". I am hoping and praying that things just got busy and we'll get good news very soon! Please pray with us that God would provide G with this job!

On May 31st...

George came home to this...

That was fun. :)

We're still so excited and basking in the glow as we march onward. More later...

Some days I'm just not strong.

I sure do love my husband. I am so thankful and I find myself just looking at him thinking, "Wow! I really, really, REALLY love you! Like SO MUCH...even more than yesterday!" How did I get such a great guy?

One of the things I admire about George is how hard working he is...and how hard he is searching for a job. Yesterday, he went to a job fair. He got there when it started and vied for his place in line. Four and a half hours later, he got interviewed with five other people. He raced home in time to scarf down a snack before he spent the rest of the day at work, on his feet.

He brought home the page of available jobs. There were 25-30 listed and more than 500 people showed up for those few jobs. Many just gave up and went home.

Not George. He won't give up. He keeps trusting God, seeking God and obeying God. He'll wait and wait for even the slightest possibility of a job...and while he waits, he works two retail jobs, without complaining and without shame. That makes me so proud and so sad. I want better for him.

I try to be strong, but sometimes I just don't have it in me. I am so tired of waiting....tired of thinking and saying, "soon"....I am sad and I'm confused.