Post 3 of the day...

I think 3 posts in one day is ridiculous, but I'm doing it anyway.

I'm still trying to digest what's going on and why. I know we didn't get an interview because I would have been notified. Every month when I call and ask if we got one, they say, "Did you get an e-mail? You will get an e-mail." I decided not to drive the knife in further, and thus, did not call and ask this question again. I just know.

The governor (whom I have never really liked, btw) can't do anything to help. Surprise!...seems like no one can.

Yet, I am still not quite jaded. Amazing, I know. I have sent several e-mails to the NVC asking to be expedited (I expect responses in another week and a half or so) as well as an e-mail to the consulate in Accra asking several questions and again, asking to be expedited. And then, I sent a fax to senator Cornyn. I begged for help! I explained I wasn't actually asking for a favor, but to be treated fairly, to be given my American right and to get the service which I have paid handsomely for in a timely manner. I was not quite eloquent. I was not quite sweet. I was maybe even a little dare I say...demanding. It is what it is....sent.

I want to go to sleep and wake up when this is over.

I ate an entire pint of Groom's Cake ice cream this afternoon...in one sitting! I'm both proud and ashamed.

I want to run away to Ghana...I could leave Saturday morning and it would only cost $1441...but then what?

I can't handle going to my church this Sunday. I can't handle one more person telling me they know how I feel (which they don't)...or that this is all in God's timing (which isn't helpful or nice, and how would they know that? Is there a direct line I don't know about? It's called sin in the world people!)...or that at least someone isn't dead, this isn't that big of a deal (right, no one is dead, but my heart is breaking every moment of the day-it's a big deal to me! How 'bout I take away your husband and your money, keep it gone for a while, trick you into thinking you can get it back, ask for more and more money and tell you this isn't a big deal? Also, no one can help you. Yeah, that's what I thought).....or have I tried e-mailing/talking to (fill in the blank)?....or aren't I glad I'm reformed, because then I know God is the one jerking me around...not sin or sinful people. I just can't handle it!!! I know I will cry. I will probably be pissy and rude in response to some of these "helpful" comments and oh, by the way-I'm NOT reformed and I DON'T believe God gives us bad things...surprise! I don't know what Sunday will hold, but I want to be anonymous.

If you can't tell, I'm kind of in a bad mood right now...I'm sorry about that. I really do prefer to be happy.

I feel like God doesn't listen to me sometimes-but I pray anyway.

I hate crying...I do it a lot though.

Will I ever get to wear my special dress and actually pick George up at the airport??