Pangolins and George

Pangolins are real. George is real.

I don't know how many people know what Pangolins are, I thought they were a commonly known animal until someone informed me otherwise. Better yet, this educated friend of mine even went so far as to say..."I think you made that up Bethany." Surely an armadillo-like creature in West Africa was made up by the Texan chick. Most people haven't seen Pangolins, so they don't seem real. Well, I knew they were real AND I have seen one.

I feel like people don't always connect that George is real...just like the Pangolin. Not many of my friends have met George and though I don't think people try to be hurtful, there's an obvious attitude towards this stranger I love that seems different from attitudes towards known people. So let me tell you, George is real. He is wonderful. He is mine.

That's all I have to say.

Really?

I am so confused and sad right now. George did not get an interview. That means it will be August or LATER before he will get an interview and be able to come. My heart is broken...again. I don't know how many people have been told by the government that they can't be with the one they love, but let me tell you-it's horrible, it's worse than horrible!

I don't know what to do right now. I can't call the NVC and ask more questions because I'm crying, so aside form it being embarrassing, they wouldn't understand me. I sent an e-mail asking how long we are expected to wait, but I know that I'll only get a form letter in a week that has no real information. I also sent an e-mail to an immigration lawyer asking some questions-I have a feeling that that too will prove fruitless.

This place in life right now is just hard. George and I are going through this process because we feel the Lord had America for our immediate future (remember, we tried the whole Africa thing and felt like God wanted us here instead) as well as, we are honoring my parents. So I kind of feel like, what gives? We are walking in obedience and it's not going very well. I want nothing more than to be still and know that He is God. I want nothing more than to feel the comfort I know God has for me, but right now, it's just deep, deep sadness. I'm sad my man is not coming soon and I'm sad that I fasted and prayed my heart out and feel like He isn't listening; and then I'm sad to have such a childish attitude about God. Who am I to tell Him what is best for me? I'm a mess right now!

And on top of all of that...a mega hail storm came through last night and totally plastered my car! This is a completely terrible day!!!!!

Whew, glad I got that out. Sooner or later I will have a different outlook and will post again.

Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! Psalm 46:10

My pastor reminded the congregation this week that 'be still' literally means 'cease striving'...I'm working on that. It's hard.

Also, the King James version says, 'I will be exalted among the heathen'. No comment about where 'heathen' may apply in my particular situation.

Nothing, YET...

I called the NVC and actually spoke to someone (it was quite the process). Interviews for July have not been made yet, but they should be made this week-I was told to call back next week. The guy told me that the Accra consulate was pretty backed up and that they could not predict what the wait was or when people would get interviews (obviously, he isn't the one who schedules). So at some level, no news is good news. George could be on the list for July...I am still praying and I still have faith-I'm mindful I may need to be reminded of this though. :) Please keep praying!!!!!

Strength

I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

In the past, I didn't like this verse very much because I felt it was cliche'. Mostly used by tiny private Christian schools to pump up their crappy sports teams and declare they will win games! The more I get over myself, the more I see how wonderful it is and how evident it is in my life...here's what comes before the money verse: I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

So. True.

Could this be it?

Some time in the next five days, we will get news. We will be left either feeling overjoyed or crushed...again. I have no clue what we will find out. I do know that I want to hope in God no matter what. My faith is not in the government (good thing, where would I be if I trusted in these people?!) or in the individuals who make the appointments. I am leaning on God. I am casting my cares on Him. I was thinking this week about the people around me who are going through much harder things than I am. I was wondering, how much does this matter, really, in light of people dying and suffering? But the Bible doesn't tell us to present our requests to God or cast our cares on Him only if they are huge or life threatening, and if even sparrows matter, then this does too. So I will not be discouraged and I am so thankful to have a great God who cares about my life. I am praying as earnestly as I know how to do and thinking of these verses (as well as others). Please pray with me!

Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words, Romans 8:26

Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. They collapse and fall, but we rise and stand upright. Psalm 20:7-8

You have multiplied, O Lord my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told. Psalm 40:5

PRAY!!

Next week is the big one. Appointments for July interviews will be made by the National Visa Center. We are praying earnestly that George is on the list. Please pray with us!

My new digs...

This is a work in progress. I broke down and bought a TV. It's too stinkin' boring and lonely to not have entertainment. I am super excited about watching movies and playing Wii! That lamp doesn't go there, I need to change up the cubbies, and there is about 6 feet of emptiness above the TV, so something will go there....but you know, work in progress.

The curtains...I am in love with them!

The living room! I need to frame the paintings, but until I do, I figure they're fine just nailed up on the wall. The angle of the pic is weird because I wanted the rug in it....the ceilings are super high!

There was a nasty, big breaker box on this wall, so I covered it with beautiful fabric that was given to me by George's mom. I like how it turned out.

Behold, the closet! I need to arrange the clothes better, but notice the matching hangers and clear plastic shoe boxes? Oh yes, I went all out!

The dining area, bathroom and bedroom are still being worked on, I'll post pics of them eventually. I can't wait to show George everything!!

An update...

So here's what's going on. After the meltdown on Wednesday and getting a grip of the fact that it will indeed be a while before we are reunited, we took a breath. Many people were praying for us and sad with us over this not so great news. And God was good. He has given us both an amazing amount of peace and strength to move forward. Thank you for your prayers, and please, keep them coming!

Since we know he won't be leaving Ghana very soon, George got a job. He is now program assistant for an NGO in Ghana that coordinates international volunteers with local needs. This job keeps him very busy, may fulfill his national service requirements, allows him to hear lots of different English (which should help when he comes) and he is free to leave whenever he gets his visa-which will hopefully be in July. We are both thankful for it.

I moved into our apartment as planned (pictures soon) and again, God gave me immense peace. It was not sad (living in a cramped and crappy apartment pre-move helped, I'm sure:) and no, the walls do not mock me that George is not here. However, it is quite the adjustment to be completely alone, especially because most of my life I have lived with not a few, but a LOT of people. I am fine though. I know George will come and I know that this is what God has for me right now. So, we keep on praying and keep on doing the things we know we are supposed to be doing. I am happy to get our home set up, it's a work in progress, but so far, I love it! I look forward to posting pics! My mom was such a huge help and blessing this weekend and I'm so glad she shared this experience with me. This is a new chapter in my life and I plan on seeing it as the adventure that it is and living to the fullest...even while I'm alone.

Everything will be okay...

What's the worst that could happen?

Today I called the NVC. Remember, I had to wait 8 weeks to do this-supposedly people hear something in that amount of time and they don't want people to bother them too much. I wasn't going to call until the official 8 weeks (yep, I'm a rule follower) but George talked to the embassy in Ghana today (finally!) and they said they don't have his paperwork. So I decided to call a day early and figure out what was going on. I always like to think of the worst case scenario when things look bad so I can prepare myself and put things into perspective. I couldn't come up with a worst case for my call today but given the information we had, I didn't think it would be too bad and I didn't think anything would make me cry. I was wrong on both accounts.

The short of it is that George's paperwork is not lost and we are not getting an interview soon. All interviews for the month of June are taken. We will find out in a few weeks if he was lucky enough to get an interview in July, if not, it will be even later. To understand better, keep reading.

Remember back in the day when TV shows and movies often poked fun at bi-national couples getting married and their immigration and green card process? They often referred to INS. Well, INS no longer exists and we now have USCIS and the NVC. In the switch there has been much confusion and a mix of old policies and new policies and often both sides are giving different information. Throw in more confusion and extra policies every time an international terrorist thinks of doing anything to the USA and that's about what we're dealing with. That's why we thought our paperwork was lost in the first place. We were told on some form that after our case was approved, it would be sent to the correct embassy and get an interview as soon as possible. The truth is that the paperwork stays with the NVC and the second week of each month interviews are scheduled for the following month. Once an interview is scheduled, then the paperwork goes to the correct embassy. The other thing we have been told is that both of us will be notified when he gets an interview, as well as, only he will be notified. I was too emotional to get clarification while on the phone today, so we'll see what happens. The second week of June will be the third round for George to get on the interview roster, hopefully the last.

So what's next? Thankfully the phone lines allowed George and I to speak for a long time after all this mess to figure it out. We will keep waiting. I'm moving on Saturday as planned and will continue to pray my butt off. As for George, since we know he won't be leaving at any moment, he is going to try and find work for the meantime. He is also going to see if he has any connections who could assist in getting him an interview in July.

Please, please pray! This is such a difficult and sad time for us being apart. Please pray that we will rest in God and have patience and peace (this is a very hard one for me!). Please pray that George will get an interview in July (sooner would be great, but I'm not getting my hopes up). Pray that he would find work soon. Pray for the eventual interview, that once we have one everything will go smoothly. Also, typically the deeper into summer we get the higher airfare is. So pray that when the time comes his ticket won't be too high.

Thank you for your support and hopefully there will be a positive update soon.

Long weekend, will there ever be a normal?

Memorial day weekend was pretty nice. My little baby brother (who is way bigger than me) graduated from high school! My brother and sister in-law came into town and I had an incredibly fun lingerie shower with my nearest and dearest...it was pretty great! The weekend was packed with family fun, planning, mess making, great parties, lots of people, shopping, eating, a little bit of drama (bleah!) and exhaustion. I was slightly distracted from immigration, which was so nice and got some encouragement from some sweet family friends at my brother's graduation party.

This week I am preparing for my move on Saturday! I'm going to be moving into "our" apartment and setting things up for George's arrival and our future. Last week I was kind of bummed about it since George won't actually be here and the 'our' has turned into 'mine' but I have faith again that things will happen soon. I am beginning to look forward to making our home in preparation for him and at least this is a step forward! I have been so busy lately and am so tired of being busy, life is just full right now. There is so much upheaval in our lives and the lives of my family members and so many unknowns. I wonder when we will have a "normal" and when we will rest. I hope it's soon, but one thing I do know is that we will be very purposeful with our time management and commitments we make, all this craziness is unavoidable right now and not enjoyable.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the PEACE of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

Frustrated

There are no words for my level of frustration as I angrily write this post and contemplate what we can possibly do. George has tried yet again to contact the embassy in Ghana and find out what's going on and if he has an interview. Either they won't answer the phone, the line gets disconnected or the phone systems aren't working at all! I could scream! No one on either side answers e-mails in any sort of timely fashion and I can't talk to anyone until next Friday (if you call before specified time, they tell you to wait until specified time). I hate that we are finally nearly to the end and I am this upset by slow progress...we've come so far! I hate that I'm not more patient. I hate that I'm so angry. I hate that I want to cry everyday. I hate that there is nothing I can do. I hate that my man is so, so far away.

Sorry for the vent, but I think that's what a blog is for.

It doesn't get easier...

We are still waiting for that interview and for a glimmer hope. Being apart does not get easier and we will never get used to it. Everyday seems more difficult than the last. I have to keep reminding myself that we are almost finished and that we will be together regardless of how immigration works out. Hopefully we will have good news soon!

I really, REALLY miss my man!

I waited 2 weeks for that?!?

I finally received a response from the National Visa Center about our case. I have been waiting for a reply for weeks, praying someone can tell us what's going on with our paperwork and have been trying to be patient while not giving up (meaning they have gotten several e-mails from me). Alas, the long awaited reply to this question....a form letter. It's the exact same one I got about 6 weeks ago when the case was first complete. UGGGHHHH!!!

Bridal Shower #2

Another shower! Last night I had another wonderful shower filled with sweet people, great fellowship, encouragement and wonderful things to help George and me set up our home! I had a great time. It is so good for me to be reminded that people care and are praying for us and when I'm encouraged, George is encouraged (and vice-versa). I am so blessed by the sweet ladies who put this together and can't find the right words to say thanks. Thanks Hamiltons and Lisa!!

Lisa always does such beautiful events!

My dress had no shoulders, so we had to figure out a way for me to wear a corsage. :)

Mom, sis in-law and me...having a blast!

My sis in-law (and brother) gave a super thoughtful/creative/fun gift. All the fixings for mimosas (even fresh oranges)! She bought the ice bucket from my registry last year and when George didn't get to come she held onto it because she had faith that he would definitely come! How sweet! I am so blessed by them!

That's my sis Tiffany, she took most of the pics so she isn't in very many. Then sis in-law Kimberly and friend Amanda.

We have pictures of the sweet hostesses but they weren't quite perfect for both ladies in the same pic...so I'll spare them. ;)

And of course, we are STILL praying for some good news and for an interview date SOON!

Faith Like Potatoes, etc...

So I just saw this movie called Faith Like Potatoes. I knew nothing about it, nor had I ever even heard of it, but it was the only good thing RedBox had (Yay $1 movies! Boo tons of bad movies!). Anyway, it was just what I needed to see so I thought I would share. First of all, it's horribly amazing. If you're looking for cinematic excellence, highly developed characters and great acting- this is not the movie for you. However, if you miss Africa (it's not West though) and need encouragement (or I guess if you just like corny stuff) -get this movie! It's based on a true story and it's just sweet and God shows up big...which I always like. :)

As for the point of this blog-we are still waiting on immigration news and to find out where our paperwork is and when an interview might be happening. Is it just me or do I seem to say the same thing all the time? I'm trying to have faith (you know, like potatoes;) and be patient...it's hard! Sometimes I feel like this will never happen, I hope that doesn't sound whiney, because I'm serious and not just a baby. Soon, I keep telling myself, soon...I need a new word, maybe eventually? Nope, I hate that word.

Speaking of words, I have realized that through this process of continued frustration my language has gotten a little out of hand. So, my goal is to eliminate the word "pissed"....as well as a few others by the time George comes. Sometimes I sound like I've been hanging out with a bunch of 5 year olds though, one of my new favorite frustration words is dumb-dumb.

A few days ago I realized I feel truly healthy again, I'm back to 100% and praise God that I'm malaria free!

Tomorrow is my bridal shower with church ladies. I'm so excited! Even though we don't have a date and nothing in our lives seems normal, it's nice to feel like a normal bride for a little while. I am really looking forward to the encouragement of all the sweet ladies who will be there. It's easy sometimes to feel alone in this process and I know I will be reminded that there are many people who love us and care for us and are praying for us. I will try to post pictures a little faster this time.

Bridal Shower

I had my first bridal shower this past Sunday (took me long enough to post about it!) and it was amazing! While obviously, it was nice to get gifts that will help George and I set up our home, the best part truly was the fellowship. I felt so supported, loved and cared for, it was such a blessing!

I'm thankful for George. I am so happy and blessed to have such an amazing man that is worth this horrible wait. There's just not enough time to go on and on about him.

I'm thankful for my family...all of them. I am especially thankful to my mom though. She seems to feel my pain and joy better than anyone else. She is always praying for us, she is my biggest cheerleader and she is a whole lot of fun...seriously, a lot of fun!

I'm thankful for my job. It is great provision, my boss lets me Skype George during the day, and taking care of an adorable baby makes me smile.

I'm thankful for my friends who encourage me. I hope I am being a good friend right back.

I'm thankful for my car.

I'm thankful for my bridal showers and for the sweet people who are helping us set up our home.

I'm thankful that we have a place to live.

I'm thankful for the gym.

I'm thankful for my zebra chair, laughter, bagels, chocolate and so much more!