Thursday, November 5, 2009

Surreal!

This has been the most surreal week of my life. I can hardly believe that we found out our good news not quite a week ago...it seems so much longer! My dad was right, "..in a day..." EVERYTHING changed! It took many, many, MANY days to get here, but I'm trying not to think about that!
One of my concerns through all of this was that the stress, the worry, the constant disappointment and the silence from God would turn me into a person I don't like. In the midst of what seemed like my world falling apart, I was worried I wouldn't be ME anymore. I was worried about what I would think about life and God and church and people. I was afraid of being a jaded jerk forever. I was worried that I wouldn't know how to keep from changing for the worse.
However, now that the finish line is in view and this piece of waiting is almost over, I'm not so worried. I am still me. I feel like a MUCH older me, but me, nonetheless. I've learned a lot, a lot about me, people, God and the world. I've learned people are hard to deal with and they let you down (this is not the first time I've learned this-I guess it didn't stick). I've learned it's okay to be sad and angry, just not to let it define me. I've learned that friends worth having will always be there for you-even when you don't answer their calls and are depressing to talk to. I've learned I am not a Southern Baptist. I've learned that looking good, really does make life seem a little bit better-no spending the day in my jammies! I've learned to question what I thought I knew. I've learned God is more mysterious than I realized. I've learned how truly extraordinary my man is. I've learned how meaningless money and success are. I've learned that no matter how old or responsible or "adult" I am, I can always go home to my mommy, and she will be there for me, 100%.
This has not been fun, this has not been easy. This is almost over!
These are the things I have done so far in preparation, it's been so much fun!
  • Cleaned out my closet and filled it with awesome stuff for George (I went to B Republic right away and my little bro had a lot things he can't wear anymore that he was saving. George has quite the set-up!).
  • Met with the wedding venue, we actually have a date now!
  • Collected an insane amount of proof for the consulate-I feel VERY confident!
  • Set up cake tastings...heck yes!!
  • Put together travel info for G.
  • Started eating real food and exercising again...I used to be a healthy person.
  • Squeal EVERY time I see Christmas stuff! I'm going to be here and so is GEORGE!!
  • Picked out my pick-George-up-at-the-airport dress, it's RED! :)

I've done more than that, but didn't want to bore you. Things are fabulously crazy right now. For one thing, I've been working more. I L-O-V-E it! There is something completely amazing about a newborn. I've spent tons of time with babies and kids, but not a ton with newborns. It is so incredible to see their perfect, tiny features and recognize that God knit this little person together in secret. The little girl I watch is so gorgeous. It has renewed my faith and I love every second of it...even when I'm holding both crying kids and the toddler is trying to push his sister out of my arms. It's still wonderful and I am so thankful to have my job back.

In all of this excitement, I am still acutely aware that this is not quite over. I continue to pray for the next several weeks and all that it entails, as well as the transition into American life. Please pray with me.

I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord. Psalm 40:1-3

2 comments:

jolana said...

Hi! I found your blog in trying to find a job in Accra. I'm in San Antonio right now but my boyfriend is very likely going to be moving to Ghana, either Accra or more likely Kumasi. Are you in Austin right now? I know you have a LOT going on right now, but I would LOVE to meet you to talk! Actually, I desperately need to. Can you email me? jolanahoward@yahoo.com. I'm not sure how to use this site yet. I REALLY hope to hear from you!

Sister Beta said...

Cool thing, Jolana! I'll shoot you an e-mail tonight or tomorrow!