The American dream: tan, thin and cynical.

This is what I've become. Over the course of our relationship I've gotten a lot darker, smaller and much more cynical. Case in point... In 2007. March 2009....I'm much darker now. ;)

Sometimes I'm afraid that that's all people see...or in this case, read. People tell me "Wow! You look great!" usually, what they mean is, "Dang! How did you lose all that weight? I bet you don't eat, and could you try to look a little happier?" It's not all about being smaller or tan, despite what our culture feeds us and despite even what our Christian friends notice (or care about) the most.

At some level I am those things, but I'd like to think I've become so much more. I'd also like to think I'm a better witness than that. I've learned a lot so far and I feel SO much older! It's weird. On good days I can see how God has grown me and changed me. I see strength, patience (hard to believe, but yes, it's in there), gratefulness, love, hope and joy. On hard days it's pretty much anger and cynicism. I am thankful that I usually have good days and I am thankful that even though my cynicism creeps in just about everyday, that too is being changed.

I've been thinking a lot about the Proverbs 31 woman and in verse 25 it says, "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come." That's pretty impressive and I figure if strength and dignity are her clothing, a cynical/pissy/sarcastic laugh about the times to come wouldn't exactly fit. I want to be able to do that.

So in that spirit, here are some good things that happened today...

• I got a letter from the senator saying that he is working on my inquiry and has contacted the State Dept on my behalf...he'll get back to me. (BTW- Mr. Cornyn most definitely did not inquire on my behalf, an underpaid intern or poly-geek did...but that's beside the point).
• I got to talk to George for a really long time. :)
• My parents' 32nd anniversary is today and that's great. It also gives me hope, one day that will be George and me. :)
• Tonight Jeremy and I are having a Foyle's War date at my place, that will be fun.
• It's Thursday, which is wonderful because that means tomorrow is Friday.