Some things I never want to hear again...

"Since 9/11..."

"Just be patient..."

"Things get easier with time."

I hear these tid-bits a little too often and I'm not sure I can take it any longer! I am trying to be strong and I am trying to continue with my life without being a huge baby, but hearing these things just about pushes me over the edge. I heard back from JFK man and he talked to some friends for me, which was very nice. His response was basically the same thing I hear all the time; since 9/11....just a little more patience....surely with time...blah, blah, blah! Well let me tell you, I'm sick and tired of people opening their mouths and having nothing to say. Also, I am so sick and tired of this whole 9/11 crap. I'm aware. I know what happened and if this is what our nation is like because of that, it seems to me that the terrorists have won. I also completely appreciate people who have no clue what this is like telling me to be patient or that it will get easier. You sir, are wrong! I am trying to be patient and I have been waiting for years to have George in this country....YEARS! And no, it does not get easier, in fact, it's quite the opposite. Each day is harder. Each day holds a deeper longing and sadness than the previous day; each day the temptation to run away is greater and each day my disappointment with this country and hopelessness grows. It does not get easier. My heart is heavy. I hardly sleep, I eat because I know I should and if I don't my wedding dresses won't fit! I'm officially heart sick.

I'm not saying the government should sit up and take notice because I'm sad, but a little customer service, some real answers and oh, you know, actually doing what I've paid them to do would be nice. But more so, the empty comments, the faux sympathy....that's what I really want to stop. I don't want people to blow me off anymore or pretend like they care-if they don't know what to say they should say that. I want the "buck up" attitude to stop- I am bucking up! I'm here, I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, how else does one buck up? What I really want to stop is people who pretend they know what this is like and offer emptiness, while they grumpily go home to their spouse and treat them poorly. I'd rather be ignored completely.

I didn't exactly mean to rant. Sorry. And I'm not even really mad, (I'm way past that point, it takes too much emotional energy to stay mad at everything) I'm just weary. Weary of this whole process and so ready for it to be over.