I'm a planner. It's just a part of who I am. I thrive on plans and structure and organization. I like to plan eeeevvvveeeerrrrrything. You would think that I would have quit planning after years of every major plan I had not working out. Nope. I'm still planning!

Some things have changed though....I'm learning to let go of the plan and prioritize things that can't be planned.

Yesterday, I had a job interview. This job was fewer hours than I currently work and more money! I was pumped! The wheels were turning and my life plans for how this job would impact us were in full swing! I prayed before I went that God would make it clear to me whether this was the right job or not. I had faith that I would know instantly if this was "it" (and I knew our future would be amazing because of it).

Apparently God thinks I'm a big girl...He did not make is abundantly clear. Instead, critical thinking and prioritizing were needed...this is a theme in my life right now.

When it came down to it, the money, (which was speaking so loudly when I applied for this job) really wasn't the biggest deal. I had a good interview, but turned the job down. I just didn't like what my life would be with that job.

So I won't be getting a new Coach purse or those amazing over-the-knee boots from Nordstrom. And yes, we will be waiting even longer before we can get a car or have a baby or buy a house...all things I had planned for in our near future. Things I thought I needed; maybe to be happy, maybe to feel secure, maybe because I'm greedy...I'm not sure why.

I'm finding out that I'm really okay with letting go of the plan. I will always be a planner and a dreamer and we still want those things, but there's no rush.

I remember in those awkward high school years, I was trying to figure out what I was going to do with my life, and it had to be great. I would say things to my mom like, "I don't want the world to pass me by!" (Oh the angst!) Now, I want to drive in the slow lane and enjoy the ride. I don't want to pass the world by.