A bunch of things...

There are so many things going through my head right now...it's hard to even know what to say.

My brother and sister-in-law lost their baby. My heart breaks for them! I can't imagine their pain and it's terrible to me that there is nothing anyone can do to help them feel better. God and time is what is needed, and that hurts to watch. If you think of them, please pray for them.

I'm nervous about our life. All we have done for years is work and struggle to be together and dream of the one day. We've come so close, so many times....will this really happen? I know in my mind all the things about trust, not fearing, blah, blah, blah. But in reality, those things are hard to cling to when you've been jerked around over and over again. I can't wait for life with George, I am so excited about that. But it's still hard for me to think/believe that this process is nearly over and that he will actually come SOON.

I hate to admit this, but I'm really struggling with a relationship in my life (that same one....will it ever end). This relationship is often hurtful and plain irksome...I just want it to be over. But that's wrong of me. I don't know what to do, which only adds to the pain and irritation. I wish I didn't care.

Being back at work is good, but a big change from the last four months. I still love my job though and I have really great bosses. Thanks, God.

I long for boring. Seriously.

When I talk to people and they hear about my life, my family, my relationships, I often see a look of longing (and sometimes shock) in their faces. They want the drama and excitement that I have. As for me, I'd like to give boring a try. My life has never been boring and in all honesty, it probably never will be. Plain would be nice.....regular even? There has been so much uncertainty and change recently (which I know is life) but I am really, really hoping for some stability...normalcy. I think I'm a control freak...which is why all of this LACK OF CONTROL is killing me!