Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:4-7
I fail. In the almost 3 years of George and my relationship, many, many things have happened which should remind me (or one would think have taught me) not to be anxious about anything. From little things, such as being mugged in a foreign country at night; having malaria 3 times (good grief!!); running to catch international flights more times than I can count; getting lost in big, new cities; teaching a huge class of scared children; changing jobs and more....to the big things, like falling in love and wondering if he's "the one"; dealing with people's judgement towards our relationship; stepping into the unknown; knowing he's "the one" and having to leave; being so far away from people I love; finding my place in two worlds; trying for a visa 3 TIMES...growing up. Why is anxiety easier than peace?
I often wonder about my witness through this process. Does anyone ever think I'm reasonable? Do people see Jesus in me or do they just think I'm weird? Do they know I'm anxious, but that I trust in a God bigger than anxiety? Do they know there is One who can give us peace? Do I always know?

1 comment:

She thinks too hard! said...

I am watching...I never think you are weird...I know you are patient and are faithful...I also know you are reasonable...and Christlike. I am always proud of you. The waiting is hard...no doubt about it. IT WILL BE SOOOOOO WORTH IT!!!!!!!