Dear Killer

To my wonderful car Killer,

I'm sorry to say, but I didn't exactly want you in the beginning. You came to be mine through a bizarre turn of events. I never would have picked you out. Never. It wasn't that I had anything against you specifically...well, kind of. The thing is, I HATE blue! And you, you are not just any blue, you are screaming loud blue! Oh well, I took you anyway and I was grateful...most of the time. Now, I am far more than that. We've been through a lot!

You got your name in the early days. Partially after my favorite band of the time and partially because of that baby deer.

You were a wonderful companion as I drove all over town in my single days going from one nanny job to another, shopping a lot and just livin' the life.

The "snake bite" on the inside passenger door is from surprising my dad and getting metal yard edging for a project. I thought you were an SUV, turns out, you're not. Whoops, my bad. I smile every time I look at it.

Your trunk doesn't completely latch anymore because of that unfortunate little rear end thing. My first car accident, lost in Lakeway on the way to babysit for one of my dad's co-workers. It was a very bad day. Our two stupid insurance companies fought it out so long that no one paid for the repair, so it didn't get repaired. I used to be so embarrassed when people would stop and tell me the trunk wasn't closed. I don't care anymore, it's character.

The back door on the driver side is especially shiny since it got replaced after someone backed into it. Question, how blind do you have to be to back into a PARKED electric blue car in the middle of the day? Probably shouldn't be driving. Just saying.

Your front wheels and back wheels don't match. Again, this used to embarrass me. Now, it's character. Someone else was driving you when they hit a pothole and cracked the wheel. Replacement wheels from Saturn were crazy pricey and would take a week or more to come in, so they chose nicer ones and thought I would get the matching pair for the front. They thought wrong, I didn't.

You have hail damage and it makes me smile. A hail storm came through and got ya pretty good. I got the check from the insurance company, had your repair scheduled and then lost my job. Since I didn't want to pay the deductible, I just held on to the check, hoping to fix you as soon as I started working again. Instead, the repair check paid for George's plane ticket from Ghana. I smile when I see all those tacky little bumps. It gives you character.

Your finish is a wreck! Shortly after my sweet husband got here, he decided to wash you with something that was not very soft. He scratched the hell out of you!! I was so mad! I'm not mad anymore. It's character.

Your clock won't stay programed for more than a week. It just won't. You think that's funny, don't you?

Even though you are a freaking Saturn Ion you have low profile sport tires. I'm sorry, but I still think this is stupid! I cringe when we have to buy tires.

Now that you have a new axle, steering rack, something frame, wheel, blah, blah, blah you drive reeeeally well! You drive better than I can remember you driving. And that weird sound is gone. I am so happy about that.

You have been a good, good car to us! I love that you are so small that the car seat is just over my shoulder. I can reach Makafui while I'm driving! I like that you are so small I can park you anywhere. I like that you are safe. I like that you get us from place to place. I like that George learned how to drive with you. I like that you are reliable. And you know what? Knowing what I know now, I might just have chosen you. Please keep on truckin'! We're glad to have you back!

Your favorite driver,
Bethany