My Makafui

I may have mentioned a time or twenty that Makafui is kind of an intense child. He is sweet and smart and wonderful and so, so intense- in every area of his life!

This move has been very, very tough on him. We have really struggled a lot over the last two weeks and I have just been begging God for wisdom and patience to parent this boy. Every little thing has been a big thing lately. I feel like M is constantly in trouble, yet the disciplining is doing no good at all. I feel anxious about going out with him because I never know if I'm going to have my super amazing sweetheart of a boy, or my strong-willed, push it to the limits boy. I've been asking George (and myself) what exactly does grace look like for Makafui? How do we parent this unique child?

From infancy, Makafui has not fit "the norm" and been a very high needs sort of kid. Typical care and parenting techniques have never really suited him. We have often been judged because of his differences and I have felt like a bad mom because I was almost always stumped by his behavior and my kid just doesn't fit the same mold that the kids around me fit.

Now don't get me wrong, it's not all bad all the time, he is so sweet and so bright and we truly do enjoy being with him. We also hear wonderful things about him from childcare and church workers. When it came to playgroups/mom groups where people would share about their kids and experiences, I was almost always the odd one out, the one with a kid who just didn't make sense, who was "crazy/aggressive/high maintenance" the one who got the nasty looks and negative comments about my parenting.

Then I met with Kristen this week and she told me about The Highly Sensitive Child. I immediately went home and started researching this. To my amazement, this is Makafui! I went to the bookstore after naptime and while they didn't have that book, they did have Parenting Your Spirited Child- I started reading it in store and by the second page I was crying. I felt so sad that I hadn't gotten this book sooner, but also relieved and not alone! I am devouring this book and just loving it! (Highly Sensitive is on its way and I'm excited for that too.)

What I'm learning is that Makafui is one of the 20ish percent of kids who is spirited/highly sensitive. His little self is just wired differently-and in a wonderful way. Basically, he takes in more of the world than an average kid/person does. He hears more, sees more, feels more! This can be very overwhelming to him at times and at other times, it just distracts him.

Recognizing this and reading the research and stories from other parents has been so eye opening and empowering. There is NOTHING wrong with him! And nothing wrong with me for having a kid like this! I'm not even finished with the first book and already feel so much better equipped to parent him and at peace about some of the behaviors I have noticed.

And that question, "What does grace look like for Makafui?" Has been answered! It looks like recognizing the differences in him, choosing to see them as a gift/blessing/something positive and being really sure that something he's doing is sin/disobedience before disciplining it. For example, taking forever to get to the car and not heeding me calling him over and over again is not necessarily disobedience. When he walks from the back door to the garage, he hears and sees 10 new things that are grabbing his attention. God made him that way! He isn't ignoring me on purpose, his little mind is just already full of other sounds and information. Grace sweetly gets on his level, in his face and tells him we can explore the backyard when we get back, but for now, we need to get to the car. Grace gives him the benefit of the doubt, understands that his "lense" is bigger and sees more-that he isn't being naughty all the time, but that he is being exactly who God made him to be. Light bulb seriously going off for me!

This isn't license for when he does sin/misbehave, but it really helps me to understand and parent him better-to rejoice in this difference and help him, rather to see his behavior as all negative. I was so heartbroken not to see this earlier, but also so thankful for an answer to prayer and to better understand my sweet boy.

I am so blessed to have these two wonderful kiddos and to have such an awesome husband to help parent them!

One Month!

This week got a bit crazy, so I opted to skip the 4 week post in favor of a one month post baby/life post.

Wow! What a month it has been! In Delali news, she is awesome! Sometime this week she started looking a little chubby & way less newborn.

Her sleep has changed up a bit & I'm okay with it. She sleeps for long stretches during the day & not so much at night. Sometimes I will get a 3 hour stretch at the beginning of the night, but then I'm lucky if she is up every 90 minutes to 2 hours & many nights have a wakeful period lasting about 2 hours. I wonder if she is reverse cycling to zone out her crazy brother?

She has started cooing and I love it!

She is very strong, just like M. She keeps her head up for long periods, pushes off of us with her feet & even scooches (is that a word?) forward a bit when on her tummy.

She continues to sleep through loud sounds & is not easily startled.

She still takes a pacifier!

Newborn clothes fit her properly now & she even outgrew an outfit this week. Her 0-3 month clothes still look ridiculous.

She loves bath time.

She is having terrible gas that's causing her a lot of discomfort. I'm trying to figure out what I might be eating that's causing it...gas drops/gripe water only help a little.

She is just so sweet & we all love having her in our family!

In other Azaletey happenings...

The last month of major changes, plus being 2 have caught up with Makafui. He has brought me to the brink a couple times this week & has been a challenge lately.

This is our first week without the Y. I cried last week on our final day. I'm sure this is part of M's behavior, changing one more routine in his life. Poor kid.

George's BRAND NEW car got rear ended this week. He's having quite the time dealing with the other driver's insurance.

I feel like overall I'm doing pretty well handling 2 kiddos on my own. The transition from 1-2 has been way, way easier than 0-1!

Just when I think I'm doing great, I have a hard day that reminds me I need to lean heavily on The Lord! I definitely struggle with giving myself enough grace. I stress too much over how clean my house is & losing the baby weight. 

We had our first new MOPS meeting this week. I'm looking forward to meeting people & am trying to be more purposeful at making friends & getting together with people.

I really love our little house & little neighborhood, we are settling in nicely.

I think my favorite part of this new phase of life is the team work between G & I. We balance & help one another much more smoothly this time. He is such a great partner & blessing to me!

3 Weeks!

Sweet Baby Girl is 3 weeks old...this past Tuesday, but I'm just now posting this. Geez.

We went to the Dr. Monday for her 2 week appointment and Girlfriend has seriously grown! She's up to 7lbs 15oz and is 20 3/4" long! Woohooo! Go Baby, go!

She also has Thrush. Boo. But not surprisingly, she is handling it well and even tolerates the meds, which she has to get FOUR times a day. Yes, she's a champ!

She has done great with our move and took several long naps over the weekend, which allowed me to get a lot done.

Her sleeping is pretty much the same, she goes about 3 hours throughout the night, which I am LOVING! I feel so rested!

I got really emotional after we moved (big surprise) that things had been so crazy her first few weeks of life and that it seems to have passed so quickly! I am really trying to just rest now that we are in the house and focus on my kiddos and enjoying each moment.

Watching her & learning her has been so much fun! She is happy & chill & loud! She makes so many more little noises than M did at this age. She loves to be held & "needs" that more in the evening, but during the day she does fine being put down for a while. I've been wearing her when we go out & that definitely puts her in a happy place.

I'm just so grateful that she's ours!

2 WEEKS!!

Happy 2 weeks, Delali!!

It has been a great two weeks! I love our growing family and am just so grateful and overjoyed to have this girl!

At two weeks, Delali is more wakeful during the day. We love seeing her alert and studying her eye color and facial expressions.

At night she goes 3-4 hours for her first stretch, then typically 2-3 hours and is up to cluster feed and snuggle around 5-we get a few hours together before M wakes up. I am very happy with this.

Her umbilical stump fell off this week and her hernia is looking better already...hoping it takes care of itself, her Pediatrician said it's likely to do so.

She nurses well and takes a bottle well. Supplementing has been good for her and I can tell she is gaining weight nicely! I no longer supplement after every feeding, we are trying to slowly back off. Some days I'm cool with the supplementing thing, other days, not so much. I'm really working on getting back to exclusively breast feeding.

Most Newborn clothes are still pretty big on her.

We know she can hear (she passed that test with flying colors) but very, very little in the way of sounds disturb her. She sleeps through Makafui's craziness and isn't phased by most noises. Please stay that way, Baby.

She has become a lot more vocal! She makes sweet little grunts and noises while she sleeps.

While car rides don't seem to particularly soothe her, she does well in the car and will stay asleep in her car seat for quite a while.

She has gone on quite a few errands this week. The second kid definitely gets out more than the first did! :)

I can't believe it's been only two short weeks, yet I cannot imagine our family or life without her! Daily, George and I just look at each other and marvel at how blessed we are to have this little family!