Who I Want To Be

I've caught myself thinking (and possibly saying) things recently that do not reflect who I want to be.

Things like, If only my husband had a real job....Will we ever get a house....I neeeeed another job sooooo bad, you don't even understand....Will I EVER be able to stay home and have babies?? Oh, the angst! Those thoughts and comments reflect discontent, selfishness and a lack of faith in my great God. If you have heard me say these things, I apologize for my crappy 'tude! Furthermore, when did I get so yuppie?! I do NOT do yuppie!

Yes, my husband needs a better job, and at some level so do I. And no, owning a house and being able to have children one day are not bad things. It's the attitude behind it that is. The belief/feeling that no one is looking out for us and our entire future is on my shoulders. That is not true and I know it. My God is in control. I'm not naive enough however, to think that God being in control makes things easy. So buck up, huh?

What really freaks me out about this discovered attitude is that I could become that girl. You know, the one who always has something to complain about (sometimes disguised in ridiculous "prayer requests"), something in her life is always bad or dramatic and nothing ever seems to be good enough. Nooooooo! That can't be me-I refuse!

This is me (or at least who I want to be), someone who is happy and thankful for the things in her life-especially the little things. Here are some of those little things I'm happy about...

I got up early to brown meat and deglaze the pan with wine for a stew that is slow cooking all day...the hubs keeps sending me texts about the aroma. I feel like super-wife. :)

I've been a really rockin' nanny today and I'm proud of that.

I love my husband so much and am so glad he is here.

I tried on clothes today and thought, 'Wow I look good!' Awesome.

These are the times that build our character and build our marriage. Like my parents, we will one day have great pieces of wisdom (and really great stories) to share with and encourage others.

Happy weekend!