Beautiful Boy

I am NOT...

Last week I got up the guts to call the Dr. and find out how much weight I gained with M. The answer, 42 pounds! I wasn't really too surprised, but that's still a lot. I've lost 39 of those 42 pounds and I feel pretty good about that (and I'm not finished). Today I was thinking about how "fat" that number on the scale is. I was thinking it's been a little while since I've weighed that much. Correction, it's been 10 YEARS since I weighed that much! 10 YEARS since I was the fat girl. 10 YEARS since I busted my butt and lost 70 pounds to be a healthy me. 10 YEARS!

So when am I gonna stop thinking I'm the fat girl?

This got me to thinking about other things in my life and the lives of people I know. How long do we hold on to things that are not us? Things that have changed, or been forgiven or never really were us.

I'm one of those people who thinks about what was going on this time last year (thanks, Mom-I get that from you!). This is when things got really hard last year, with unemployment and some other stuff. There were a lot of nasty lies said about me, things that hurt, deeply. In my quiet moments throughout the night and day, I think of all that happened and wonder if I should have done things differently, wonder what God's plan was for all of that mess. When I'm exhausted, I wonder if any of those things said about me are really true.

Today, I got my answer. God really impressed upon me that I am NOT those things. I am His.

Here's to NOT being..
the fat girl
the outcast
the mediocre mom
the inadequate wife
the bad friend
the lazy employee
the person who never measures up

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1

This Is How We Do It

Someone recently asked me how it's possible for me to stay at home with Makafui and us live on one salary. I hadn't really thought about the how of it until this person asked. I know other people are interested too (especially G's co-workers, lol) so I thought I'd let y'all peek in our windows and see.

First, we are walking with God. Me being at home with Makafui is much more than a preference to us, it's a conviction on how to raise our family. We believe that this is what God has for us and as a result, he's blessing us and making it work. With that being said, it's not always easy and it's full of sacrifices, sacrifices that are well worth it!

We don't have any debt. G and I worked very hard our first year of marriage to pay off our car and his school loan, it's seriously benefiting us now. We also don't carry a balance on our credit card, whatever goes on gets paid off right away.

I cook. A lot. We eat out as a treat or date, not because we don't know what to make for dinner or because we're bored of home food. It's a planned thing. I send lunch with G to work or he comes home for lunch.

Homemade baby food! I buy organic prepared baby food on occasion (like when I can't find enough fresh or frozen organic green veggies) but for the most part, I make it. Prepared baby food can cost $16/lb or more! I try to buy all of the fruits or veggies at around $2/lb.

I go to two grocery stores. Sprouts typically has better and cheaper meat, produce and dairy but for those (I try to make it few) prepared foods that we eat, as well as paper products and toiletries H-E-B or Target is cheaper. If we want treats we buy them at the grocery store instead of out. (For instance, 1 beer for $5.50 at a restaurant or 6 for about the same from a grocery store.)

We cloth diaper. While cost was not the motivating factor before M was born, it is a HUGE blessing and motivator to keep at it now. The monthly cost to wash his diapers is negligible and the detergent is $8-10 every 3-5 months depending on what kind I get.

We only have one car. This is a blessing and a curse at times. :) G and I switch out and my parents live nearby so it's working for us. That means insurance, inspection, registration, tires, maintenance and gas are half of the typical American family. I remind myself of this when I want another car just because.

We can be nomadic. God has blessed us and I have been able to find really great deals on really wonderful apartments. When our lease is up and the management jacks up our rent too much, we move. I don't mind it at all. At our last apartment, our rent was going to double for a 2 bedroom, we moved a couple miles away and love it.

We use entertainment carefully. We don't watch much TV, so $50/month for cable would be a huge waste...or motivate us to watch more TV, which would be a different huge waste. We shop around Internet and when our contract with the great rate is up, we negotiate it back down or switch (AT&T is the best at negotiating, they reeeally want to keep their customers). We usually wait to see movies until they are at RedBox and we find things we want to watch online for free. I would love one, but I don't have a smart phone...saves a lot.

I don't have high maintenance hair. Years ago, changing my hair was a hobby. I'd try a different color or style every month or two. That can seriously add up! Now, I get it cut cheaply and stay away from high maintenance color.

Bargain shopping is my favorite. I love nice brands and pretty things, but I never pay retail. TJ Maxx and Marshall's are good friends of mine and I'm not ashamed to go straight to the clearance rack in a store. I find killer deals on clothes for Makafui and I get high quality things that can be washed over and over again and still look nice.

I'm not a huge craigslister, but if there is something around our house we aren't using, I sell it. That's more for the clutter factor than money, but it's a nice bonus.

We watch for leaks. Running through a drive-thru for some drinks or stopping at Walgreen's for little nothings really add up. We try to spend our money purposefully instead of accidentally.

Things I don't do...

We don't skimp on food. I buy healthy real food, and try to get as much organic as I can-that costs more than junky food, but we think it's worth it.

We don't buy cheap things that go on our skin. We are very careful about what we put on Makafui, as well as ourselves, the safer/healthier products are usually pricier.

We NEVER cut corners on safety! My dad preached this from as early as I can remember. If our car needs tires or maintenance related to safety, we do it right away and we buy the good tires. (If we had a house, this would apply to household things as well, but for now we have a management team who does all that.) The same for M's car seat, crib, toys-safety is our first concern, then price.

We don't really consignment shop. This got me into huge trouble before, but I don't care, go ahead and judge me. There aren't super awesome adult consignment shops here like where my Grandmother lives so it's a no-go for G and I. We don't consignment shop baby things because of the possible safety concerns (no clue where things were stored, if they've been recalled or how they were cared for) and I shop really well, so it doesn't really save anything. Also, I would rather my family have a few high quality outfits (and toys for M) than a whole bunch of worn out or cheap things.

So that's it. What's normal for us. I don't mind the challenge of making this life work at all and I am so grateful to be home with M. Got any other ideas?

Morning Play Time

I sure do love our mornings! I never imagined back when Makafui was teeny tiny, didn't smile and seemed to only nurse and sleep, that in a few short months he would be so much fun! This boy is OVERFLOWING with personality! He just cracks me up all the time. He is very intense in everything he does and we love watching him grow and change! During morning play times, Makafui will happily play alone and zone me out, then realize I'm close by and give me a smile like this to tell me to come back over and play with him.

He gets so excited to see me (and the camera) that he may fall backwards...which he thinks is soooo funny!

He also tries out new positions and tries t reach toys that are a bit too far. Then he gets folded up and is stuck, he doesn't think that's quite as funny.

He is very intent when playing with something-especially the non-toy somethings.

Here's the I'm Gonna Get You/Attack face...

And again. :)

He got it!

Love that fluffy bed head!

Just What I Needed

Since M went off of Prilosec, then back on with a bigger dose, we haven't been having a great time at night (maybe that's not the reason, but that's when it started). It's been a few weeks now and there still hasn't been much improvement. This stumps me...a lot!

Anyway, I had been begging God to give me some wisdom about this whole thing. I was specifically hoping for wisdom in the form of what exactly I should do to get my baby to sleep. I didn't quite get that.

I was studying the other day and these verses stood out to me.

For thus says the Lord: “Behold, I will extend peace to her like a river, and the glory of the nations like an overflowing stream; and you shall nurse, you shall be carried upon her hip, and bounced upon her knees. As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you you shall be comforted in Jerusalem. Isaiah 66:12-13

But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us. 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8

I realized that the Bible talks a lot about relationships and how they should work. There is instruction for wives and husbands, friendships, slaves and masters, employers and employees, and more. I can't recall anywhere that tells a mother that she needs to or how to love and comfort her baby (or get that baby to sleep!). That love and care is just assumed.

I've really been mulling over these things, especially 'as one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you' and 'we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children.'

I feel like God just gave me a nudge, a gentle reminder that this is just how it is and there is nothing wrong with it. I happened to get a wakeful baby, but I'm doing exactly what a mother is supposed to do.

To top it off, when I was at Target the other day, three people/groups stopped me to comment on how much Makafui and I obviously love each other. It was another sweet piece of encouragement.

I asked God for wisdom, expecting an answer to my "problem", but instead, I got wisdom revealing that it's not a problem at all. Thanks, God.

Friday!

I can't believe it's Friday already and I haven't blogged all week. I've had plenty to say, but I've been too busy to stop and write it down.

We've had a great week! We had several mild temperature days so M and I got to spend some wonderful time outside. It made me so excited for Fall and all the great things it will hold!!

M has a new friend, his name is Buddy.

Of course, he was playing with him in the cutest way and I got out the camera and his new mission was to grab the camera.

Oh well, that's cute too. The lady in the church nursery went on and on about how sweet and cute and wonderful Makafui's DOLLY was. Um...it's not a DOLLY! Makafui is a BOY and so is Buddy. This is a plush action figure, thank you very much!

Lately, M has been enjoying baths in his super cool (green!) big boy tub. It's too bad he doesn't have many bath toys...

We LOOOVE baths around here!

 

Makafui has been getting prepared for Grandparent's Day in September. GiGi and Pops are a pretty big deal, so he wants to make sure that their first G'parent's day is special. He went to a lot of trouble making this sign and taking pictures to invite them over.

 

Ohmygoodness, this kid is cute!

 

Aaaaand, for the drama of the day, we had a little incident and I learned something major about myself. I was calmly putting Makafui down for a nap, looked up and saw a MASSSSSSSIVE roach on the door frame of his closet!! I totally froze. Then I almost had a heart attack. Then I snuck out of the room and called my mom (because it made sense at the time). Then I continued to almost have a heart attack, hide from said nasty bug, try not to throw up and called maintenance. Thankfully, they didn't laugh, but sent someone right over. The guy came in with a towel and grabbed it up. He was nice and validated my feelings by commenting on how bizarre and HUGE the thing was. My feelings about chemicals in our home have gone out the window...exterminate this place!! I learned that I have extreme anxiety about this stupid bug and it kind of shocked me. I seriously cannot think of anything worse. It took me a while to collect myself before we could try the whole nap thing again. Please God! No more roaches!! :( :(

 

 

Bones

This weekend, I made BBQ Pulled Pork in the slow cooker to take to a family who just had a baby. After we had taken the meal and ended up back home, we ate the same thing.  One of the first bites I took, I found a bone! Aside from being mortified that I may have delivered a meal to a family with a TODDLER that was possibly riddled with bones, I had lost my appetite for dinner and no longer liked or planned on making my easy and delicious pulled pork.

That seems extreme to some people, but the thing is, I HATE bones. Like a lot. I rarely buy food to prepare with bones in it (boneless skinless chicken breasts are a favorite around here) and I don't order food out with bones in it. I also hope that when I eat at other people's homes that they haven't prepared food with bones either! They're just gross to me, eating around big bones is tricky and weird and not easy to do politely and the sound they make when you cut them or when someone else is gnawing on them. Disgusting. And little bones- those buggers sneak into food and give you an unexpected crunch, or stab or chocking and it's just all around terrible!

When I encounter unexpected bones, I am done. It doesn't matter how expensive, delicious, healthy or anything else the food is, I'm over it. That's just me.

While I was thinking about this and my bummer pulled pork, I had one of those 'God in the Crock-Pot' moments.

Bones aren't always a bad thing. In fact, cooks and chefs will tell you they add to the flavor of things and that boneless meats don't taste as good. Some people prefer bones (my husband) and really, with a few notable and unlikely circumstances, bones won't hurt you. Here's the thing, you can take them out or eat around them. I just don't.

Life is like that too. There may be something wonderful in front of us; something that's delicious and full of nutrition, something special even. But there are bones in it. Those bones may look different-people, styles, words we don't prefer, but bones nonetheless. They are something small compared to the good meat. They might be obvious, like a t-bone steak or something not so obvious, like a fish bone.

Either way, it doesn't mean the whole thing needs to be thrown out. I've been wondering what the bones are in my life, what I need to learn how to pick around or remove, without losing the good stuff...

Window Shopping

This week we had some fun bumming around Babies R Us, keeping cool and window shopping for Fall, Winter and Christmas gifts for our sweet boy! We had a lot of fun-we giggled ourselves silly and took too many pictures! Surprisingly, they didn't kick us out.

This coat cracked me up and M was quite a sport. I've decided he's the cutest Ewok around! After much thought though, we realized that living in Central TX, there just isn't much need for a fluffy coat. Makafui is too young to need a coat for playing outside and you have to take it off to be safely buckled in a car seat so it's probably more trouble than it's worth. We have found some super cute sweaters and hoodies instead. There's always next year though...maybe then he can have a marshmallow coat! :)

I enjoyed the shoe shopping more than words can say!! The practical me won out though, this kid can't even walk! At some point during shoe shopping G declared that Makafui is a white African, not a black American. After I stopped laughing I told him he was understood.

All white African kids need to ride elephants.

Today, we needed an oil change, which means there were very few places to choose from. Wal-Mart won out and we made the most of the hour plus wait. We discovered M likes fish!

I am reeeeally hoping Pops wants a pond or something again so Makafui can enjoy watching fish more regularly! Wouldn't that be great, Pops??

Wanderings of a Sleep Deprived Mind

If you ever wondered what ridiculous things are going around in my head, then here's a taste.

-There is a difference between fighting for something and fighting over something, sometimes the line can get blurred.

-I want to be a really good wife and a really good mommy. Some days I feel like I've failed either because the entire check-list didn't get checked or I didn't get the recognition I thought I should. That sends me back to my first thought though...what is a really good wife and mommy? I'm working on that, but I'm learning it doesn't always mean the list got checked off or that I got any appreciation at all.

-I ate cereal this morning and dripped milk form my lips every. single. bite. Am I a toddler?

-My gorgeous leather couch that I wanted so bad and finally purchased while I waited for G isn't holding up so great. I was sad and then I remembered, the more you have the more you can lose. It's just a thing...it's just a thing...it's just. a. thing.

-I know of so many people lately who are having their babies reeeally close together (like, on purpose). It's challenging what I believe about God's timing for kids, because let me be honest, it seems a little cray cray!

-I love my husband, I wish we spent more time together.

-The other night, someone slammed their door and it woke up Makafui. Yesterday, the FIRE alarms went off and it didn't wake him. This is one of the greatest mysteries.

-When I was in high school, I told one of the youth leaders at church that he looked like Rasputin. Thinking about that now, I'm a little shocked....eh, oh well.

-I like the show The Chew, it kind of inspires me to learn how to cook really great things. Then I remember that the stuff I want to cook takes lots of time and money and has tons of calories, so I change my mind and stick with my basics.

-When we pulled into the gas station the other day, the sale before us was $110! I think I like having only one car and a small one at that!

-We've had another health scare with a child hit a little too close to home. I'm holding Makafui a little tighter lately and thanking God for his health. It makes me wonder who I would be under those circumstances, I pray that the Lord won't test me.

-I'm feeling crafty lately...not in the devious way, in the creative way.

-I have BIG plans for cooler weather and being outside, now I just need to work on Makafui lasting longer in the stroller.

-Who am I in the greater scheme of things and am I living up to the fullness God has for me?

-I love my little family and my little life.

Not so Adios...

At M's 6 month appointment, we were instructed to say Adios to Prilosec! We were oh so excited!

Unfortunately, it turns out that my Makafui wasn't ready to be Prilosec-free. He let me know by getting super congested whenever I laid him down, snoring, fussing and fidgeting while I fed him in the night and by waking up every hour. :(

I called our pediatrician and since they saw him so recently, all it took was a chit chat with the nurse who talked to our Dr. and before I knew it, they had called the Pharmacy with an updated prescription and his dose has been increased. Yay!!

I'm hoping this gives our precious boy some relief (and some more sleep...even just a little). I am so thankful for such a great Dr. and for health insurance!!

In the meantime, Makafui still manages to be pretty goofy all the time...

Life of the Party!

Yesterday, was a full day for little M and he pretty much ate it up! First, the blog-world and old friends collided in a long overdue play date! Kristen, Annie and Meg treked out to meet us at GiGi and Pops' pool. (I stole pics from Kristen because she is great at taking pictures and I am not.)

Why yes, I am wearing my husbands "singlet" as I suddenly realized my swimsuit top is really not mom-proof.

Ugh. I hate that this is blurry, but it's so sweet, so I'm posting it anyway!

LOVE how Annie is looking at him!

The girls (especially Annie) adored Makafui and he adored them right back! He kept holding their faces and giving kisses. So. Freaking. Precious. I can't believe it's taken this long to get together! We need to do this more often!

In the evening we went to a bridal shower and I'm pretty sure Makafui thought it was a party for him! He was talking and talking and singing songs and dripping drool and flashing his smile all over the place! He seriously worked the crowd and it totally cracked me up. He is quite the ladies man! I shouldn't be surprised because I think he comes from a long line of ladies men. ;) (You know who you are!)

Dear Uncle Jon,

I've been thinking...when did I last see you?!

I was telling my bear just the other day, "You know, Bear...it's been a long time since I've seen my Uncle Jon. Can you believe it?"

We had a few laughs about, but you know, it's a serious thing.

You won't believe all the cool tricks I can do now!

Let me be honest as well. I'm having a little bit of an identity crisis. I think I'm waaay older than 6 months-like way older. I just want to stay up late and party all night, then sleep in for a long time. I dig this life, but I'm not sure how Mommy feels about it. Maybe you can help me out a bit. You know, from one INFJ to another.

 Please come visit me, Uncle Jon! And bring your friend, you know the one. ;)

Love,
M