Makafui's Turn

Makafui has been killing me lately with the stuff he says! I swear he's 2 going on 15!

Not long ago, he was Break Dancing (like legit dance moves) while my mom was over. I said, "Are you showing off?" He kept dancing while he answered, "Yeah, I'm showing off." Then he stopped, looked Gigi in the eye and said, "This is what I have to do for attention."

After getting out of bed again, George and I exclaimed, "Makafui, go. to. bed." his response? "STOP BULLING ME!" I have no idea where he heard the word bully or came to understand what it means.

I hate guns. Hate them, hate them, hate them. We let him have a very toy-ish water gun during the summer, but just called it a "squirter". Now he thinks all guns are called squirters, only he says it "skirter". I just crack up when I hear his grown up chatter that includes skirters..."Does the police car man have a skirter? Why does he have a skirter?" He still doesn't get what a gun is and I like it that way!

Delali has not gotten old yet. He is still enamored with her. I get a play by play all the time, "Mom! She opened her eyes!!" "Mom! She tooted!" "Mom! She's looking around!"

We hear a lot of, "I wanna do it all by myself." & "No! It's my turn!"

We should really be muuuuch more careful about what we say around him-he only needs to hear something once to hang onto it! The other day I sarcastically told G, "Oh lovely, our neighbor is in his kitchen with his shirt off." George responded, "So, I do the same thing." "Yeah, well the difference is, you're hot & he has man boobs." {yes, there's all kinds of wrong with that convo} Makafui heard us & before I knew it, he was singing a song about man boobs!

He loves to FaceTime! Half of the conversation he gives a nausea inducing tour of his favorite things & the other half he makes faces at himself.

He knows he is funny & loves to say, "Are you kidding me?!" because it almost always gets a laugh.

If you ask him his favorite color, he'll tell you Spider-Man.

I don't know where he got it, but the boy has picked up a little southern twang. Instead of sad or bear, he says say-ad & bay-er. Ha!

He has learned that I don't eat things with milk in them anymore & purposefully picks treats at the store that he won't have to share..."Does that one have milk, Mama?" "Yes." "Yeah, that's the one I want!"....sly look.

Since the bean incident he keeps telling me he has something in his ear. I think he's just struggling with past tense but it makes me sooooo nervous!

Not that I recommend it, but anesthesia was like a reset button for him! He was much more his old self (which we hadn't seen in weeks) afterward & preschool helped even more!

His first week at preschool was awesome for all of us! He super loves it & it loves him right back! He seems so grown up going off to preschool.

He has a vivid imagination & great memory! He loves telling stories about something that really happened (a long time ago) plus a lot of fun new details. ;)

I just bought him a bunch of new clothes & about a month in he has outgrown the pants!! He's only 2 & now wears 4T jeans & size 8 shoes. Oh my!

The last week or so has been nice. He's been his sweet, snugly, kind, funny, curious, intuitive, PRECIOUS self. I'm trying hard to just enjoy it & not be anxious that the nasty we had for the 6 weeks before will come back!

I love this boy!!!

My turn

Mostly, my posts are about the kids. So now it's time for a Me post.

I have 30 POUNDS to lose. T-H-I-R-T-Y! I didn't gain as much this pregnancy, but after I weaned M, I put on a few pounds & then when I was sick & on antibiotics for months, I put on a few more-so I started heavier but have the same "skinny" as my goal. Some days, I'm okay with that, I tell myself "Little by little, you have done it, you can do it, you will do it!" other days, I am staring at the edge of complete and total depression over it. I have 4 stretchy dresses and a pair of jeggings that fit me. I lost weight a lot faster after M and my body was just different-I could fit into my jeans much faster even though I still had a lot of weight to lose. I'm working on being grateful for an amazing body that grew this awesome human being, rather than focusing on how "fat" I am...but it is constantly on my mind. I eat for fuel, not fun. I log everything I eat & I walk or get at least 30 minutes of exercise a day. I have a long road ahead.

George and I are going to a wedding in a week! It's our first date post-Delali! I am excited and nervous and a little bummed that none of my really pretty things fit me...and since I'm not drinking alcohol or eating any dairy, the food and beverage part of this event is not that awesome for me. At least George will enjoy!

G & I have watched all 5 seasons of Royal Pains on Netflix in the last 5 or 6 weeks. Sheesh! What else do you do during evening cluster feedings? We need another show to binge watch together. We did Greys Anatomy when I was pregnant w/ M & Parenthood (up to current) during bed rest w/ D. Any suggestions?

I really love being a mom, but I wish I was better at the whole package. Like I wish I could be the mom who fully parented & engaged her kids AND made homemade organic granola bars AND did awesome crafty things AND had a spotless house AND was really good at play dates AND...AND...Seasons I guess. Right now, I've got the kids covered, manage hair & makeup for myself daily & mostly have a clean house & cooked dinners. Laundry gets washed but it piles up clean. I'm a work in progress...or the Queen of Unrealistic Expectations. I get those confused sometimes. If we lived in Ghana, I would have house help.

George has wanted a King size bed since he came to America. I thought he was crazy-we aren't really big people. Now, I want one & I want it now. Ha!

I used to have a ton of really cute shoes! Now, they are all wearing out at once. I know, life is so hard, boo hoo.

If I had a lot of discretionary money and time, I would get mink eyelash extensions. Yes I would!

I am a Highly Sensitive Person. How did I not know this before?

Even though the move has been very, very hard for Makafui, I'm loving our house. I love the hardwood floors, I love that the sink has a sprayer! I love the full size fridge & dishwasher. I love, love, love the garage. I love the neighborhood & our evening walks. I love that we have windows on FOUR sides. I love the laundry room, I love our linen closet & I really love our landlady.

Even though I LOVE our house, I'm already praying for our next home. This is our 5th home since we got married & I really hope our next one will be the last one for a very, very long time! 

I'm meeting nice people at church & MOPS & in my neighborhood, but I'm having trouble forming real relationships...my MOPS group is set up differently than my last & it doesn't leave much time for fellowship. I miss my old group...a lot. People are so busy & it's hard to be vulnerable & get to know someone. I need to work on that too.

My husband is a rock star! He does not like to be made much of, but he's just awesome. He's doing so great at work & he is such a wonderful friend & support to me & he is an awesome Daddy to our kiddos. I am so blessed!

8 Weeks!

How on earth can it be 8 weeks since my little Delali-pop joined our family?? Yet again, I am late posting for her week Birthday!

Delali is doing wonderfully and growing, growing! She wants to be held a lot more recently, but I don't mind-these moments are just so fleeting. She is also now big enough that with a blanket rolled up underneath her, I can wear her in the Ergo while I go about our day. It's a win-win.

She will not go down for the night before 10. She just won't. Makafui was the same only his natural bedtime was 11!

She is smiling much more lately and it's pretty easy to make her do so. I just can't get enough of her sweet chubby cheeks, adorable double chin & cute little scrunched nose! She's just so happy!

She is especially happy and easy going in the morning and gets less so (and more needy) as the day goes on. By the time George gets home, she pretty much only wants to be held and only by me-and she cries more than she does any other time of the day. I feel bad for George, but that's the benefit of having done this before. We both know this is a short lived period of time. She enjoys being with Daddy in the morning or day time and will smile at him while I hold her in the evening, but he better not hold her!

I've gone on a few walks in the evening with just D. I enjoy it, but she only lasts about 15 minutes, so it's not quite the exercise I would like.

I'm bad about doing tummy time regularly, but when we do, she tolerates it okay. ;)

I feel so much more relaxed being a mom of a newborn/infant this time around and I am truly enjoying it-even the sleeplessness and crying/fussy times. The other day, I thought 'We really need to work on a schedule.' and then I decided, no, we do not. She has a natural rhythm that works well with our family-no need to stress us out and mess with that!

Going out & about with both kids feels pretty normal now & I'm getting pretty good at the loading/unloading thing. I've even managed to grocery shop without help twice now!

On the mommy side of things, I had a really hard time last week. I had been doing so great and feeling so wonderful since Delali came and it's like all the postpartum hormone stuff came flooding in for one really tough week! George was such a wonderful support and I am doing much better now. I feel like me again. Whew!

(Watching football...& yes I finally cut the tag off that pillow.)

6/7 Weeks

I missed the 6 week post because frankly, Makafui is stretching me...daily. In a big way. As a result, blogging has taken a back seat.

So here is what's up lately.

Delali does not tolerate dairy in my diet. So I've eliminated it (with great success for her) but it's been quite a learning curve as I didn't realize just how many things have some dairy derivative. I definitely snack less because of it.

She is giving us sweet social smiles and I love it! They are still infrequent enough that we go nuts when she flashes a big grin!

The girl is really filling out! She has fabulous cheeks and a double chin. She wears 0-3 months clothes now.

We got a double stroller recently and both kids are tolerating it quite well. If I break up our walk with a stop at the park, they do great. Otherwise D won't last more than about 20 minutes. We are really loving the walkability of our neighborhood!

Delali goes 3ish hours (ish meaning 3 or less) between feedings at night. I don't know where that glorious 4 hour stretch went, but I think I'm coping pretty well.

This sweet girl is quite the celebrity at church. People go nuts over her! I feel the same.

Makafui continues to adore her..ADORE! He just can't get enough of her and I love it. He often touches her cheeks and tells her, "I'm here, I'm here." and he tells her every day that she is so cute and he loves her. Their relationship is such a sweet blessing-especially on days that he's being a stinker to me!

These last two weeks have been a challenge, but I am so grateful for this life I have.

My Makafui

I may have mentioned a time or twenty that Makafui is kind of an intense child. He is sweet and smart and wonderful and so, so intense- in every area of his life!

This move has been very, very tough on him. We have really struggled a lot over the last two weeks and I have just been begging God for wisdom and patience to parent this boy. Every little thing has been a big thing lately. I feel like M is constantly in trouble, yet the disciplining is doing no good at all. I feel anxious about going out with him because I never know if I'm going to have my super amazing sweetheart of a boy, or my strong-willed, push it to the limits boy. I've been asking George (and myself) what exactly does grace look like for Makafui? How do we parent this unique child?

From infancy, Makafui has not fit "the norm" and been a very high needs sort of kid. Typical care and parenting techniques have never really suited him. We have often been judged because of his differences and I have felt like a bad mom because I was almost always stumped by his behavior and my kid just doesn't fit the same mold that the kids around me fit.

Now don't get me wrong, it's not all bad all the time, he is so sweet and so bright and we truly do enjoy being with him. We also hear wonderful things about him from childcare and church workers. When it came to playgroups/mom groups where people would share about their kids and experiences, I was almost always the odd one out, the one with a kid who just didn't make sense, who was "crazy/aggressive/high maintenance" the one who got the nasty looks and negative comments about my parenting.

Then I met with Kristen this week and she told me about The Highly Sensitive Child. I immediately went home and started researching this. To my amazement, this is Makafui! I went to the bookstore after naptime and while they didn't have that book, they did have Parenting Your Spirited Child- I started reading it in store and by the second page I was crying. I felt so sad that I hadn't gotten this book sooner, but also relieved and not alone! I am devouring this book and just loving it! (Highly Sensitive is on its way and I'm excited for that too.)

What I'm learning is that Makafui is one of the 20ish percent of kids who is spirited/highly sensitive. His little self is just wired differently-and in a wonderful way. Basically, he takes in more of the world than an average kid/person does. He hears more, sees more, feels more! This can be very overwhelming to him at times and at other times, it just distracts him.

Recognizing this and reading the research and stories from other parents has been so eye opening and empowering. There is NOTHING wrong with him! And nothing wrong with me for having a kid like this! I'm not even finished with the first book and already feel so much better equipped to parent him and at peace about some of the behaviors I have noticed.

And that question, "What does grace look like for Makafui?" Has been answered! It looks like recognizing the differences in him, choosing to see them as a gift/blessing/something positive and being really sure that something he's doing is sin/disobedience before disciplining it. For example, taking forever to get to the car and not heeding me calling him over and over again is not necessarily disobedience. When he walks from the back door to the garage, he hears and sees 10 new things that are grabbing his attention. God made him that way! He isn't ignoring me on purpose, his little mind is just already full of other sounds and information. Grace sweetly gets on his level, in his face and tells him we can explore the backyard when we get back, but for now, we need to get to the car. Grace gives him the benefit of the doubt, understands that his "lense" is bigger and sees more-that he isn't being naughty all the time, but that he is being exactly who God made him to be. Light bulb seriously going off for me!

This isn't license for when he does sin/misbehave, but it really helps me to understand and parent him better-to rejoice in this difference and help him, rather to see his behavior as all negative. I was so heartbroken not to see this earlier, but also so thankful for an answer to prayer and to better understand my sweet boy.

I am so blessed to have these two wonderful kiddos and to have such an awesome husband to help parent them!

One Month!

This week got a bit crazy, so I opted to skip the 4 week post in favor of a one month post baby/life post.

Wow! What a month it has been! In Delali news, she is awesome! Sometime this week she started looking a little chubby & way less newborn.

Her sleep has changed up a bit & I'm okay with it. She sleeps for long stretches during the day & not so much at night. Sometimes I will get a 3 hour stretch at the beginning of the night, but then I'm lucky if she is up every 90 minutes to 2 hours & many nights have a wakeful period lasting about 2 hours. I wonder if she is reverse cycling to zone out her crazy brother?

She has started cooing and I love it!

She is very strong, just like M. She keeps her head up for long periods, pushes off of us with her feet & even scooches (is that a word?) forward a bit when on her tummy.

She continues to sleep through loud sounds & is not easily startled.

She still takes a pacifier!

Newborn clothes fit her properly now & she even outgrew an outfit this week. Her 0-3 month clothes still look ridiculous.

She loves bath time.

She is having terrible gas that's causing her a lot of discomfort. I'm trying to figure out what I might be eating that's causing it...gas drops/gripe water only help a little.

She is just so sweet & we all love having her in our family!

In other Azaletey happenings...

The last month of major changes, plus being 2 have caught up with Makafui. He has brought me to the brink a couple times this week & has been a challenge lately.

This is our first week without the Y. I cried last week on our final day. I'm sure this is part of M's behavior, changing one more routine in his life. Poor kid.

George's BRAND NEW car got rear ended this week. He's having quite the time dealing with the other driver's insurance.

I feel like overall I'm doing pretty well handling 2 kiddos on my own. The transition from 1-2 has been way, way easier than 0-1!

Just when I think I'm doing great, I have a hard day that reminds me I need to lean heavily on The Lord! I definitely struggle with giving myself enough grace. I stress too much over how clean my house is & losing the baby weight. 

We had our first new MOPS meeting this week. I'm looking forward to meeting people & am trying to be more purposeful at making friends & getting together with people.

I really love our little house & little neighborhood, we are settling in nicely.

I think my favorite part of this new phase of life is the team work between G & I. We balance & help one another much more smoothly this time. He is such a great partner & blessing to me!

3 Weeks!

Sweet Baby Girl is 3 weeks old...this past Tuesday, but I'm just now posting this. Geez.

We went to the Dr. Monday for her 2 week appointment and Girlfriend has seriously grown! She's up to 7lbs 15oz and is 20 3/4" long! Woohooo! Go Baby, go!

She also has Thrush. Boo. But not surprisingly, she is handling it well and even tolerates the meds, which she has to get FOUR times a day. Yes, she's a champ!

She has done great with our move and took several long naps over the weekend, which allowed me to get a lot done.

Her sleeping is pretty much the same, she goes about 3 hours throughout the night, which I am LOVING! I feel so rested!

I got really emotional after we moved (big surprise) that things had been so crazy her first few weeks of life and that it seems to have passed so quickly! I am really trying to just rest now that we are in the house and focus on my kiddos and enjoying each moment.

Watching her & learning her has been so much fun! She is happy & chill & loud! She makes so many more little noises than M did at this age. She loves to be held & "needs" that more in the evening, but during the day she does fine being put down for a while. I've been wearing her when we go out & that definitely puts her in a happy place.

I'm just so grateful that she's ours!

2 WEEKS!!

Happy 2 weeks, Delali!!

It has been a great two weeks! I love our growing family and am just so grateful and overjoyed to have this girl!

At two weeks, Delali is more wakeful during the day. We love seeing her alert and studying her eye color and facial expressions.

At night she goes 3-4 hours for her first stretch, then typically 2-3 hours and is up to cluster feed and snuggle around 5-we get a few hours together before M wakes up. I am very happy with this.

Her umbilical stump fell off this week and her hernia is looking better already...hoping it takes care of itself, her Pediatrician said it's likely to do so.

She nurses well and takes a bottle well. Supplementing has been good for her and I can tell she is gaining weight nicely! I no longer supplement after every feeding, we are trying to slowly back off. Some days I'm cool with the supplementing thing, other days, not so much. I'm really working on getting back to exclusively breast feeding.

Most Newborn clothes are still pretty big on her.

We know she can hear (she passed that test with flying colors) but very, very little in the way of sounds disturb her. She sleeps through Makafui's craziness and isn't phased by most noises. Please stay that way, Baby.

She has become a lot more vocal! She makes sweet little grunts and noises while she sleeps.

While car rides don't seem to particularly soothe her, she does well in the car and will stay asleep in her car seat for quite a while.

She has gone on quite a few errands this week. The second kid definitely gets out more than the first did! :)

I can't believe it's been only two short weeks, yet I cannot imagine our family or life without her! Daily, George and I just look at each other and marvel at how blessed we are to have this little family!