6 months!

Sweet Delali turned 6 months last week. I   LOVE this age! She is so much fun & her personality is really starting to shine!

Delali is full on when it comes to emotions! She laughs & smiles BIG! She also wails with big ol' crocodile tears if she doesn't like something. She's very empathetic...if other babies (or brother) cry, she will start to cry; if other people laugh, so will she; and if Makafui is being whiney, she squaks at him!

She is sitting very well! She'll pull up on my leg when I sit next to her, but thankfully she hasn't pulled up on anything else. She lunges forward & kind of gets on hands & knees, but then just stops.

She wants to eat everything! She still doesn't have any teeth though, so is still pretty limited in her options.

I was hoping she would have outgrown her disdain for the car seat by now. I was wrong. I'm switching to the big convertible seat to see if that helps.

Time in the nursery has gotten a little better. She basically needs her own nursery worker. At church, she gets rocked or walked around & can last for the entire service (if we have timed naps properly). Bible Study is trickier, but we're getting there. When I picked her up last week, she was sitting in a worker's lap in Makafui's room. She was laughing at the big kids & much happier than being in the baby room.

She is still thoroughly a Mama's girl & is held a lot, but I don't mind. She is such a sweet & squishy delight!! 

THREE

I can hardly believe Makafui is THREE!!

I am overwhelmed with gratitude for him everyday! And some days, I am equally overcome with feelings of exasperation & inadequacy to mother him. I recently heard the term "threenager" & it could not be a more perfect term for this chapter.

At three, Makafui is kind, smart, loving, adventurous, talkative, affectionate, musical, observant, curious, active, energetic, funny, sensitive, outgoing & so much more!

He loves preschool & church. Loves them! He is doing great in both areas & plays well with his friends (mostly) & listens to his teachers. Preschool has made him appreciate arts & crafts much more & he now asks to paint or draw at home. He's very good with a glue stick & most of the things he makes at preschool he does without help. He remembers songs very well & is always sharing new lyrics.

He potty trained several months ago & has not looked back. Once he was ready, he was all in!

The boy adores his sister. Sometimes too much. I think he wakes her from a nap at least once a day! He is protective & kind toward her & anxious for her to be able to really play with him. He is very good at sharing with her!

He is a little athlete! I signed him up for soccer at the Y & we are all excited for it to start. He runs, jumps, tumbles & climbs with ease & never seems to tire. We spent a lot of time outside last week & M just kept going & going!

He rarely ever naps. We still have rest time daily, but he doesn't sleep. He fights nighttime sleep as well, but overall, things are okay.

He has become so imaginitive! I love watching him play with toys (or turning random things into toys) & hearing his stories. He is big into playing superheroes & police so he can put people "under arresk".

He has got a mouth & a half!! This is where the threenager thing really comes in. Makafui thinks he's a comedian...& an adult. A lot of times he really is funny, but then he puffs up & gets real punchy & out of hand. His mouth gets ahead of his understanding, so it's hard sometimes to get him to understand why he isn't allowed to talk certain ways. He also has a fabulous vocabulary, some of my favorite things he says are: I need to concentrate; Am I ruining all the fun? Do it quickly; That's hideous; I'm so dizzy!-Why is the room turning around? & my very favorite, You're my best mommy ever!

He is obsessed with waffles & his all time favorite "food" is HEB brand chocolate covered granola bars. I can get him to eat nearly anything with the promise of a chocolate granola bar. Ha! He even tells me, "I ate something healthy, can I have chocolate granola bar with chips in it?"

His memory is insane! He can recall things that happened many months ago in great detail! When he meets a new friend & tells us about it, he includes details like the color of the friend's shirt & what it had on it. He's so observant! He noticed things like haircuts & nail polish, but also more subtle things like attitudes & feelings.

He suddenly seems very grown up! I'm reminding myself to take a deep breath & just enjoy & savor these moments. 

Five & a half months!

I missed the 5 month mark for Delali...by 2 weeks!

The thing is, I want to blog a lot & really remember & document what's going on, but there are a few bumps in the road. One being our laptop is broken. In the midst of those hell months last fall, M wondered what would happen if he closed a Matchbox car in the laptop. Guess what? It breaks the laptop screen. I will get it fixed soon, there were other priorities then. Secondly, my hands are full & Im quite busy with these sweet kiddos. But now, I'm rocking Lalipop in the dark, pecking away on my iPhone.

Back to this 5 month thing...

Delali is so big & has changed so much! The poor thing has had a nasty cold for THREE solid weeks now. She's having a rough go. At her Dr visit yesterday (the one where they couldn't figure out why she's been sick for so long) she weighed in at 16lbs & has the sweetest rolls! Being sick has subdued her normally exuberant personality & she has reached a new level of clingy. I have been wearing her a lot!

She is sitting pretty well.
Tummy time is non-existent as she immediately rolls to her back & stays there.
She puts ALL things in her mouth! I have to be very careful with what M "shares" with her. Still no teeth.
She eats solids about once a day, some days we skip. She likes bland things & won't eat purees that aren't mixed/diluted with oatmeal.
She babbles a lot & has started spitting. M thinks it's awesome & loves to copy her.
When she's feeling well, she's a constant smile...until she's strapped in the carseat! While not a fan of the carseat, she did great on her first trip to Houston!! Woohoo!
She has stayed in the nursery on a several occasions for an hour or more!
She still adores Makafui & absolutely lights up when he's around!
Wonder upon wonders-she likes the swing! M never did, so we are excited!
As long as I'm holding her, she puts up with just about anything.

Can't believe how much she has grown!

4 months!!!!

Whoah! Little Lady is 4 months old! This is such a fun age & I am really enjoying it, we all are.

At 4 months...

Delali is constantly smiling...like a huge, triple chin, full body smile! Makafui gets the best grins from her.

She is enamored with her Big Bro! She watches him intently, giggles at his antics & puts up with a lot from him. Makafui can make her laugh more than anyone else.

She is oh-so-dramatic!! While she's happy MOST of the time, she goes from zero to pissed in about half a second & if you take too long to tend to her, she keeps letting you know with dramatic little grunts, squeaks & sighs after you pick her up. She is such a girl!

Like Makafui, she has really great (dare I say...advanced) fine motor skills, but her gross motor are very average. She's not rolling over & doesn't seem to mind, but she's had pincer grasp down for a month now.

She found her voice this week! No longer does she just softly coo & gurgle...the girl yells! It is very funny & very loud!

She went in the church nursery for the first time today & did great! I only left her for Bible Study & brought her to service though. Baby steps. :)

She got a jumper for Christmas & I gave it to her early so I could get things done! She likes it for a while & I think will like it more as she gets older. 

This week she suddenly seems older. She plays with toys, sits well with pillows around her, is alert & chatty for longer periods of time & has so much to say! She is such a delight to all of us!

Lately...

I've been meaning to post lately & pondering on how honest & open I want to be & what I want to remember from this time in our life. My friend Kristen is always so honest in her posts & she inspires me so much & gives me hope. Maybe my honesty will do the same for someone. Regardless, I do want to remember this period in my life & the kids' lives, even though it is hard, because God is faithful.

October was a hard hard month. And now, more than half way into November, things are looking up.

After Delali was born, I was on top of the world, so happy, so grateful, so seemingly on top of things. And then, I wasn't. There was no major event, but before I knew it I was crying...a lot...all the time. I loved my kids & still just adored them, but I had a deep sadness that I couldn't shake. I was more anxious than normal, obsessive about calorie counting, exercise & my weight, there was that crying thing & on top of all that I felt very guilty & ashamed for my feelings. I had/have a wonderful life!

And then I couldn't hide it anymore. I was at my new MOPS group with people I barely knew & didn't trust & I could not stop crying. As I stood in the bathroom stall alone & helpless, I realized I was not okay. I hated that feeling!! I did not want to be weak, or fragile, or needy, or crazy, or inadequate. I did not want to be sad & felt so out of control. I was disappointed in myself & felt that other people were too. I texted my mom who was in Chicago & she called a long time family friend to come to my rescue. This friend really showed up big, she hugged me & talked me through a LOT. She took us to lunch, made sure I had a plan for the rest of my day & encouraged me to see my Dr.

I was so afraid that if I told people-especially a Dr what I was going through that they would just try to drug me up! (I'm not against mood drugs if they are truly needed, I just didn't feel like I was there & didn't want to wean Delali to go on them.) Well my Dr was amazing & didn't try to drug me up at all...she assured me I wasn't crazy or messed up & she gave me hope. We talked for a long time & her advice, plus the advice from our friend have really helped me.

Since that day in October I have changed a lot in my life. I put the scale away & stopped obsessively counting calories. I bought clothes that fit my current body. When I feel like crap about my body, I thank God for it & that it gave me my daughter-sometimes that helps. When I am having a hard day, I tell my people, instead of hide it. Makafui is now in preschool! I've started looking at things in my life that cause me undue anxiety or stress & eliminating what I can. For instance, I have a huge stash of cloth diapers that I am not using right now & that's okay! I've started to work on self care, I'm finding things I used to love & doing them again, I'm allowing myself breaks & down time...& giving myself permission to cry. I have grieved Naomi in a different way since Delali has been born, there's nothing wrong with that. I'm slowing down & savoring the good times. I'm learning to take it one day at a time & not to beat myself up. After I heard, "You're so hard on yourself!" about a dozen times, it hit me, I'm really hard on myself! 

There's been a lot of growing & learning over here. My husband has been an awesome support. As have my mom, sister & big bro. I'm feeling a lot better, much more myself & I'm so thankful for that. 

I'm doing a lot of pondering. Prayer alone was good, but it wasn't enough-I was still suffering! I'm still mulling over that...I guess that's why community is so important, but I'm not sure. Also, hormones are legit, man. And they suck. Isolation felt best in the moment, but then, maybe not so much. Our God is so faithful, yet mysterious. He is near, even when we feel completely out of control & like nothing is what we thought it was. I see His hand in helping me now, but I didn't at the time. Not struggling alone has helped me tremendously, so I guess I'm taking it to the next level & blogging about it. 

I'm okay & Im gonna be okay.

Makafui and the Legume

We have been having a bit of a hard time over here lately. On Monday I was determined to have a great day with M & do what I could to curb the meltdowns a bit. 

After much research and Pinterest roving, I decided M needed more in the way of sensory & calming play. So while Delali was napping, I grabbed a bag of Black Eyed Peas & went on the porch with Makafui. We had several different scoops  & cups & bowls & M & I were having a great time. Then he started to pour the beans over his head, which I had no problem with. Before I knew it, a bean landed in his outer ear & in the blink of an eye, he poked it into his ear canal. The magnitude of this did not hit me, like, at all!

I laid M on my bed to take a look...he was chill about me messing with him, but I knew quickly that I wouldn't be able to do anything beneficial. I called the pediatrician & they had us come right in.

We saw a Nurse Practioner (my favorite one) who took a look and couldn't see the bean because M had pushed it further into his ear on the drive over! She started poking around with the wax remover tool & Makafui was very ticklish & still pretty calm about the whole thing. Our Pediatrician came in to check on us/me & the overall feeling was still very relaxed. Delali was asleep in her car seat & I chatted happily with Makafui trying to keep everything relaxed. As the minutes crept by, M became less amused. Another nurse came in to hold a light over his ear, Delali woke up & started fussing & then another nurse came in to hold M still. 

(In hindsight, this is when everything took a turn & I should have said stop. I didn't realize what our options were, just that the NP seemed to be having success & we needed the bean out! That many people in one room was overwhelming and there was a lot going on!)

Next, a nurse took Delali to an office to soothe her so I could hold M. The NP tried a little more and the bean seemed to be coming out! In an instant, M was done, not only done, but completely hysterical.

I asked the NP what our options were and she said we'd need to go to an ENT if they couldn't get it out, but we could try water if we wanted. I got to calm down enough to ask if he wanted the bean out or if we should try again another day. He wanted it OUT! So the room cleared & then 2 nurses (including Makafui's favorite) came in with the fancy spray bottle & cup. The bean didn't budge, M became more hysterical. I called off anymore tries & held back my own tears.

We were given a list of ENT recommendations & another sweet nurse came to check on me. She asked what I wanted to do & when I responded, "Leave." She took charge. She told me to check out with Makafui & go to the car, that she would bring Delali & my stuff. She did just that & it made my day!

I could tell M was exhausted & needed to sleep! I hoped that I could drive around, he would sleep & reset & we could go to one of the ENTs & get things taken care of.

Well, it was 3:30, none of the ENTS had a spot. We did get an appointment for the next morning though.

That night M slept horribly & just needed me! I felt so bad for him & didn't mind a bit battling traffic to the Dr at 7:15 the next morning to get it out.

No dice.

M covered both ears the second we got in the exam room! The man who saw him was so kind & understanding & said if a previous attempt was traumatic (ya think?) & took more than 5 minutes, that he wouldn't try.

Our only option was to have it done at a hospital with sedation.

So today, we went to Dell Children's to have that bean removed! I was so, so nervous about the anesthesia! It took an hour to drive to the hospital this morning because of traffic-I prayed & tried not to throw up the whole way!

When we got there, M did pretty well. He didn't want the pulse-ox thing on his finger or toe & he didn't want a hospital bracelet on! We were all nervous about how he would handle being away from me for the gas & the nurse said he could get "happy juice" first. Thankfully, the fun riding toys distracted him & when it was time to back, we asked if he wanted to go be a pilot & put a mask on with his flight crew & he walked right back!

The procedure took no time at all & he was out for about 30 minutes. When he woke up, he was piiiiiissed!! I was thoroughly amused by it & just so happy that he was okay & that Black Eyed Pea was out!

M has been extremely irritable all week & seems back to his happy self this afternoon. Yay!

My dad brought over a new mask from his sleep machine on Wednesday so M could be a helicopter pilot & practice for the anesthesia...I think it helped.

Putting on a brave & happy face on the way to the hospital.

Little Dude starting to get nervous (being hungry & thirsty didn't help!).

Cool waiting room before we got in a room. I didn't take pics after this because my hands were full!

There it is! The most expensive Black Eyed Pea in Texas!!

We rewarded ourselves with a GIANT Diet Dr. Pepper for me & Sprite & French fries for M!

I'm so grateful that my mom came to help with Delali today, it allowed me to be all there for Makafui. This will all be funny one day....maybe in six months or so. For now, I'm exhausted & worried about M hating/fearing the Dr after this & how much stress his little self has been through this week. :( Time will tell. People keep telling me kids are resilient.

Sweet Baby Moments

I don't want to forget these sweet baby moments...

Delali is such a joy to us! I'm so grateful for her! We started co-sleeping recently & it has been life changing! We are all getting more sleep & that can only be a good thing. Down the road, I think we will  still try to get her in her crib, but while she's still waking a lot at night, this is a wonderful choice for us. I'm amazed at how rested we are each morning. I can only imagine how much easier life would have been had we done this with M. 

She is so smiley & loves to snuggle. Her shots yesterday are giving her a tough time, so today I'm all about the rocking chair, Jesus music on Pandora & savoring these fleeting moments.